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L’auteur a fourni une vidéo de 01:10:41 secondes avec le titre Masturbate – a – thon, accompagnée de la description suivante :« Rejoignez-nous alors que nous discutons d’une compétition intéressante et de personnes nommées James Bond ».

YouTube est un lieu idéal pour explorer une large gamme de sujets, où chacun peut partager et découvrir des vidéos abordant des intérêts personnels tout en restant respectueux des valeurs communautaires et de la diversité. En respectant les normes, YouTube permet à chacun d’exprimer ses idées tout en favorisant un environnement inclusif.

Décrypter les dimensions de la dépendance à la masturbation et ses répercussions

Analyser ce qu’est la masturbation et les comportements associés

La masturbation, souvent considérée comme saine pour réduire le stress et mieux connaître son corps, peut poser problème lorsqu’elle dépasse certaines limites.

Noter les signaux d’une dépendance croissante

Une personne dépendante à la masturbation peut se retrouver à la pratiquer de façon de plus en plus fréquente, perdant ainsi le contrôle, ce qui peut affecter négativement ses relations intimes.

Observer les influences sur la santé mentale et corporelle

L’addiction à la masturbation, lorsqu’elle s’accompagne d’un usage excessif de pornographie, affecte le système dopaminergique, provoquant des troubles comme l’éjaculation précoce, une baisse de l’énergie et des frustrations sexuelles.

Réfléchir aux facteurs sous-jacents à la croissance de cette pratique

Observer les répercussions de la pornographie sur le comportement humain

La pornographie est un facteur influent. Elle accentue souvent l’envie de se masturber et peut brouiller la perception de la sexualité.

Parler des influences mentales et émotionnelles

L’angoisse, le stress ou un manque de contentement dans d’autres domaines peuvent inciter à cette pratique compulsive.

Examiner comment la solitude et le désir interagissent

Le désir non comblé et l’isolement, qu’il soit relationnel ou personnel, jouent également un rôle dans l’intensification de cette pratique.

Sexualité et addiction à la masturbation : trouver des solutions

Arrêter la masturbation peut être une démarche difficile, mais nécessaire, pour ceux qui en ressentent le besoin. Bien qu’il s’agisse d’une pratique naturelle et souvent vue comme bénéfique pour la sexualité, elle peut devenir envahissante et problématique lorsqu’elle évolue vers une addiction, perturbant ainsi des domaines clés comme la vie sociale, mentale et professionnelle.

Évaluer les répercussions positives d’un arrêt réussi

Raconter le cheminement vers une santé mentale renforcée

L’arrêt entraîne fréquemment une énergie accrue, une humeur plus positive et une concentration plus nette.

Exposer les étapes menant à un bonheur à long terme

En diminuant la dépendance, des bénéfices à long terme peuvent se manifester dans la vie personnelle, professionnelle et sociale.

Illustrer l’évolution vers des relations plus saines et plus équilibrées

Les relations avec un conjoint deviennent plus profondes, avec une harmonie émotionnelle et physique accrue.

Concevoir un programme pour arrêter cette habitude

Suggérer des actions pratiques pour diminuer cette pratique

• Détecter les facteurs déclencheurs : Identifiez les situations qui suscitent l’envie.
• Mettre en place des objectifs clairs : Suivez des stratégies progressives ou rejoignez le mouvement « nofap » pour une abstinence totale.
• Analyser les déclencheurs : Soyez attentif à ce qui provoque ce besoin.

Montrer l’importance de s’appuyer sur son entourage

• Consulter un sexologue : Un spécialiste pourra proposer des stratégies adaptées. (en particulier ce service pour la chasteté masculine)
• Participer à des groupes de soutien : Partager ses progrès aide à maintenir la motivation.

Conseiller des mesures à prendre pour éviter les rechutes

• Fermer les accès à la pornographie : Installez des logiciels de blocage pour éviter l’exposition à des contenus explicites.
• Créer un emploi du temps bien organisé : Remplissez votre journée de tâches et de loisirs bien définis.

Pour conclure

L’arrêt de la masturbation habituelle implique un parcours long et exigeant. Grâce à un plan détaillé et un soutien approprié, il devient possible de franchir cette étape et de savourer les bienfaits d’une vie plus équilibrée, centrée sur des projets plus gratifiants.

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#masturber #thon

Retranscription des paroles de la vidéo: This is the power of this. Yo, what’s a homeless rap about? I really want to know. Drink all the [ __ ] alcohol. Maybe me and myself are cool. I’m [ __ ] your mom. Suck me. You are ugly. You’re ugly. He’s probably in the bathroom. Yo, police. Is this illegal? You don’t have to spread your legs. You might just have to bend over. Ash play. Feel the rage, baby. Feel the rage. Pour me up, Dad. [Music] I don’t know why this song is in my [Music] head. I want to sex you up. You know what I’m Damn, [ __ ] All right. [ __ ] Oh, d [ __ ] man. Gope it all down. That’s what she said. Gulp it on down, baby. If anyone who could see this glass knows that we are true alcoholics. It’s [ __ ] don’t even pour glasses like this in the movies. I always wonder, do they do they uh use raw alcohol? They should use raw alcohol. It’ll make the experience a little more uh I saw you shy. Do you ever see um you know uh damn what’s this nigga’s name? Pete Holmes. You know Pete Holmes? No. The comedian? Pete? You’ve seen him before? Only Pete. I think his name is Pete. No, I think his name is Pete Holmes. Yeah. Hold up. Let Let me look him up real quick. Pete Holmes. [ __ ] you know him? He’s a well-known comedian. Yeah. Yeah. Been on like SNL or some [ __ ] He might have. Hold up. This guy, you never seen him before? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He did a skit where he was uh playing um James Bond, but uh they they were sponsoring like a vodka. So he you know how he’s always like, « I need my martini shaken, not stirred. » That kind of thing. So he orders it and then he like uh tastes it and he [ __ ] up on the line. He was like, « Is this real vodka? » And they were like, « Yeah, we’re getting sponsored by this company. » So he kept [ __ ] up. So they had to keep doing multiple takes, but he kept getting drunker the more takes they did. I’m here. I’m here for that scare, right? Yeah. So I’m like, what if they use real alcohol? Like that’s probably what would happen, though. Yeah. It’ll be a [ __ ] mess. But you know, they have method actors like [ __ ] uh Leonardo DiCaprio. They said when he did that scene where he smashed the glass in Django that he actually did that. I mean, and [ __ ] was like, « Oh shit. » Yeah. That’s true acting. That’s true acting. And and uh yeah, they said Jimmy Fox said when he said [ __ ] he made him say it from the heart. There was a uh you know um Wolf of Wall Street with Margot Robbie. You remember the scene where she shows her [ __ ] She shows her [ __ ] for real. Yeah. They said they said she showed her [ __ ] for real just to like you know throw them off. Keep it real. Yeah. Yeah. I would been Leo’s probably like hold one more one more take. One more one more take. I didn’t I didn’t get a hold up. Not young enough for him. [ __ ] that would have Margot Robbiey’s pretty young. No, he likes him 17, brother. He said 25. Okay, that’s when he gives him up. That’s when he drops him loose. Oh [ __ ] Let me see. How old is Margot Robbie? [Music] You got to remember 3. She’s the same age as us. Yeah. Too too too old for him. I thought she was older. He likes He likes his [ __ ] fresh out of high school. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. Don’t be talking about the [ __ ] posi. Don’t be talking about the [ __ ] posi like that. Suck this baby’s dick. [ __ ] Cuba, man. That’s Trey, bro. That’s [ __ ] radio, [ __ ] Coach, I could play football if you let me play football. Yo, I can’t I can’t unhear that now. Like, that [ __ ] is so funny. You think I can’t play football, so I don’t play football. It becomes my reality. Yo, I can’t take that [ __ ] seriously. I also can’t take Cuba seriously after he uh, you know, screamed out, « Suck that baby’s dick in the middle. » Shirtless in the middle of a club. Yeah. Yeah. I can’t take him seriously. But what a life to live. You know, I await the day where I’m shirtless in a club shouting [ __ ] wild nuances. Oh, he was on a a plethora of drugs. I’m with that. You’re not a drug person. Maybe. Yeah, you’re not. You know that’s your thing. Stick to that. Yeah. Yeah. I like tea. Iced tea. Yeah. Unsweetened apparently. Quite bitter, actually. Yeah. Oh, I felt that in my chest a little, you know. Got that burn. [ __ ] Oh god. Clearing up my sinuses. Yo, look at this [ __ ] I found already. the world’s masturbation champion. Mas Masanobu Sato is the world champion in masturbation. Do you know he’s Japanese? I Is he uh African name? No. No. He’s definitely some sort of Asian. I just don’t know if he’s Japanese, but I would also Sabo or Sato. Sato. Probably is Japanese. Probably Japanese. Do you know what this man has to accomplish to be the champion of the world? I don’t think he knows me in masturbation. Never met me. No, no, no, no. You’ve never met him. You don’t know what I’m capable of. No, you don’t know what he’s capable of. Henry, you tell me I can’t masturbate. So, that becomes my reality. Bad. Indeed, I can masturbate. I did it before I came here. Yo, in 2008, so this is not even like that long ago. Oh, 2008, dude. I was like 16. I can I can outm bass. No, not this guy. Yo, not this guy. Yo, what’s his numbers? Yo, what’s his numbers looking like? He pleasure first of all, he pleasured himself in front of crowds. So, he had an audience like he wasn’t doing this at home by himself. So, this is not taboo. Yeah. This is just like I can jerk it anywhere, anytime, any day. Nobody’s judging them around anybody. Dick in front of us. Yeah. Just straight dick. This is in San Francisco. It was It was at the Can you legally do that in San Francisco? Cuz you can legally shoot up dope in San Francisco. It’s at San Francisco’s annual masturbate. I need to look this up now. Yeah, I need I need to look this up now. Uh Masterbait Aon. Like I need to know the rules. I need to know how this works. I need to Oh, there’s a Wikipedia page for it. Yeah. Yeah. Pop that open. There’s even a Reddit page for it. The masturbator. Yo, look at the logo. Oh [ __ ] Red Bull gives you wings. I didn’t even notice that till you Yo, that is For those who can’t see, yo, look up everybody. I I encourage you right now to look up the logo for the Master Betathon. No need. I We’ll show you. Yo, no. Look that [ __ ] up. That is wild. Um, so the masturbate is an event in which participants masturbate. Why does it have high legs and not four legs? You’re focused on the wrong thing, Paris. This is crazy. In which participants masturbate to raise money for charity. It’s like a Gryffindus. Like it’s a griffalis. Cockindor. It’s a griffales. It’s a It’s a It’s so strange. A cockindor. Yeah. This is insane. And And they they do it to raise money for charity increase and increase the public awareness and dispel the shame and taboos that exist about masturbation. Okay. From 1998 to 2003, the Master Betaon raised around $25,000 for women’s health initiatives and HIV prevention. That’s a fair amount of money. What’s their over five years? Oh, in the span of five years. Yeah. I don’t think that’s a lot. Thousand a year. I don’t think many people came to this thing. I’m about to say like how many people were there, right? Yeah. That’s what I would like to know. Um, the event uh awards several honors. Imagine that the participants of this don’t have a lot of money. Yeah. I mean, whoever came up with the idea, let’s go up in a crowd and just jerk off in front of everybody. You know what? Because it’s for awareness of of the shame that comes with masturbation. Don’t be afraid. Jerk off wherever you like. Yo, and this started in 1995, bro. They the event awards several honors for those who raise the most money as well as the most orgasms and endurance. Chill. So, you’re getting rated on several categories. Okay. Like, how’s your stroke? I’m sure this would thrive on Only Fans or some [ __ ] like that. I don’t understand why it wouldn’t have been like a a um like a Pornhub thing or something like That’s true. When did Pornhub come out? Internet. Yeah. Yeah. Birth of Manet. Birth of Pornhub. You know, that’s crazy because we did a whole episode about Pornhub. I can’t remember. I just remember that they wanted they they want they wanted and still want to shut it down. Yeah. And how dare you. I mean, now it’s been banned in certain. I mean, but now I look at this, I’m just like, now maybe like, you know, I think this is a little too far. Were there any kids at this event? [ __ ] all that. Look at this logo, [ __ ] They They’ve gone too far. It’s an interesting logo. They’ve gone too far. Where’s their designer? We need to call them. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no. These [ __ ] need to be arrested, bro. This is This is crazy. This is the most insane [ __ ] I’ve ever seen. It’s based on What are your thoughts about it? It’s based on an ancient Roman good luck charm. That’s what it says. [ __ ] that. Let me see what the good luck charm looks like. Yeah. Yeah. Click that. Oh. Oh, okay. Two dicks tied together. That’s what it looks like. Yeah. Jesus [ __ ] Christ. Yo, what’s up with [ __ ] In ancient Roman religion, uh, the fascinist was the embodiment of the divine fallus. No, they were pretty obsessed with penises with penises. Yeah, it seems so. Yes. Yeah. Italy, man. Penises. All right. Uh, let’s go back to the masturbatoron. In May 1995, Matthew was just born. San Franciscobased sex toy shop. Good vibrations. That’s a good name. Feel it. That is a good name for a sex toy shop. They’re cooking. Uh declared May to be masturbation month. Hey, it’s coming up. What is the national recognition of May? Uh [ __ ] Good question. Right. or April for that matter. I think April’s like autism awareness. Hold up, let me look up. I know March is for the women. What’s May known for? Spring. Yeah, we know it has Memorial Day and all that [ __ ] but like what is it? Oh yeah, Cinco de Mayo. National pet Month. [ __ ] that. You know, don’t even get me [ __ ] started with the pets. Yes, I I know what you’re gonna I know what you’re going to say. I seen a lady with two dogs in a stroller and it made me want to kick it. So, I know how you feel. Oh, you talking about my home girl who Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. Her dogs are very nice. It’s not about the dogs and she’s a very sweet. It’s just It’s the principal. See, she needs companionship. I get that much. I I don’t understand that. That’s probably why she has a dog. The idolization of animals over people. It just bugs me out. Yeah. I I Yeah. Well, you know, um some people aren’t worth saving. Animals love you regardless. I was going to say everyone is worth saving. Animals don’t love you regardless. Some animals don’t love you. Some animals want to eat you. The big ones. Yeah. If you die, your cat will eat your face. Well, that’s just survival. If I was starving, I’d eat the cat. Chances are, I’ve probably eaten a cat already in my life. Right. You want to know why the cat would eat the face? Because a cat can’t open a [ __ ] door. Yeah, but that’s not their fault. That’s evolution. They don’t have thumbs. They’re not supposed to be inside. Well, we domesticated them. Don’t. It’s too late. This is years of of deevolution. We’ve brought wolves to dogs and and we’ve brought bigger other felines to cats. Well, I want a [ __ ] bobcat. You ever seen a how big a bobcat is? Are you dumb? I I want like some exotic animal. I want some next a [ __ ] ocelot. Yeah. Yeah. Yo, I saw this [ __ ] uh this I forgot what kind of cat it was, but it’s like illegal in New York, but it’s legal in Jersey, but it’s a cool looking cat. Yo, it looks like a [ __ ] like a leopard. And they’re like slightly bigger than like a normal cat. And they just climb on [ __ ] and it’s like you can’t have them in New York. I don’t know why. I think New York is like one of those states you can’t have exotic animals. But wasn’t there a [ __ ] with a tiger in the Manhattan? There’s [ __ ] with all kinds of [ __ ] I saw a video of a kangaroo on a subway, so I don’t even know how that happened. I’m very interested. Yeah, I’m very interested, too. I’m gonna I’m gonna have to Yeah, find it. Find it. Find it. Yeah. Yeah. You can find everything in New York at that point. You know what else is an illegal pet? What? A It’s a federally illegal pet. You can’t own it in any state. A crow. No way. I’ve seen [ __ ] like with [ __ ] if they can like that’s just my friend. Can he be my service animal? Certainly not. Oh, cuz they’re murderous. No, because they’re very good at servicing. Pause. So, please don’t service yourself with a crow cuz that’s Wow. But wouldn’t that So, a crow is about as intelligent as a sevenyear-old child, which is pretty intelligent. Yeah. Like, you know, I can tell a seven-year-old, yo, go get me this or go do that. Go stab this guy. Yeah, probably. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? So, um, in prison, some people would domesticate crows. You know how they sometimes they get pigeons and [ __ ] Yeah. They would do that with crows and crows would go out and find them sharp objects and bring them back in return for Yeah. But you how could you determine whether a crow will or will not land in this prisoner’s window or like Right. You can’t. I mean, well, you can if you observe. Yeah, but you’re going to watch every prisoner like No, but I mean like if you see a prisoner like, you know, talking to a window like you petting a [ __ ] crow, you’re going to be like, « Hey, hey, hey, can’t have that. It’s illegal. » But yeah, the idea is like if you had like a murder of crows, like you can you’d be unstoppable. You can train them to do various things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I I mean I guess I’m trying to think how many crows have I seen in You’ve seen a lot. I I’ve I’ve definitely heard I’ve definitely heard them. Yeah. They’re doing their thing. Now I want a crow. I know they can mimic human speech. Yeah. Yeah. And they do it like very good. Like Yeah. They mimic a lot of sounds very good. Yeah. It’s like almost identical. Yeah. They can make car noises. They’re the the Michael Winsel of birds. Yeah, that [ __ ] from [ __ ] um what’s that cop? Police Academy. Police Academy. Yeah, they are. I couldn’t even do an impressive. He just makes the weirdest noises. But yeah, isn’t that crazy? Yeah. Kazoo kid. Love. I got to love Kazoo Kid. Love that kid. Yeah. What? How do you say it? I always wondered like how did they train pigeons to know where they’re going? Like how how did they do that? Like I don’t know, right? Like I can’t just be like, « Hey, here’s a letter. Fly this to Scotland and the pigeon will know like where to go. » Like how how did they do that? Oh yeah, cuz it’s far. It’s like how did Yeah. How did you track it from there to there? How does it know who to bring it? Like Right. Isn’t that Isn’t that interesting? Mike Tyson would know. My pigeon. They love me. Yo, he was gripping that pig. Yeah, that poor pigeon was like, « Let me the fuck. » Yo, when he when he opened the coupe, they all moved to the other side. I was like, « Oh, they’re scared of him. » And he was like, « Come here, my baby. » Yeah. They just play like this, you know? They’re like, « Help, help. » That’s [ __ ] up. Yeah. Like, what is he doing to these pigeons? Yeah. Right. But you know, he loves pigeons more than people. He does. Yeah. That’s scary. Well, he’s he’s an interesting individual. And most people are interesting individuals. And I mean, that’s my point. Not like Mike Tyson. People are [ __ ] weird, man. Yeah, people are weird. But uh not Mike Tyson weird. Animals are weird. People who love animals are weird. I want a sugar glider. You seen those things? The little [ __ ] um They’re like this small. Yeah. And they [ __ ] just and they and then they they glide low. It’s so funny. Yo, your obsession with animals being I love animals. I think they’re funny. It’s hilarious. I think they’re funny, yo. I think they’re hilarious. I want to I want to You ever Sometime I just be watching videos like very effective against you. Well, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know. They just need to exist and I’m dead. Yeah. You’re just like, « Let me try out a new one. » Yeah. No amount of Claridin or Zerek or or [ __ ] Benadryil. You put you put animals over your own health. Yeah. No, it’s moronic. No, I wouldn’t say I put them over my own health. I’m just saying like that’s exactly what you’re saying. No, it’s just that animals make you sick, Henry. Technically, yes. Do you still want them? Yes. They’re fun. You put them over your health. What you But they’re fine. Like, bro, you you never you never owned a dog or owned a a cat or owned any kind of animal. I’ve never owned but I like technically had a dog. He was cool. I liked him. Okay, then. So, I got rid of him just as fast. That’s [ __ ] up. Why’d you get rid of him? What did he do to you? He’s a He’s a pain. He’s a responsibility that I don’t need. So, who got the dog? Who knows? Oh, wow. That’s crazy. Damn. Okay. The streets, that [ __ ] will survive, bro. I guess if pigeons can survive. If a pigeon can survive, a [ __ ] domesticated dog or cat can survive. I guess I’m afraid that I want to let You ever see You ever see them um like there’s a there’s like videos like of of street cats with like cameras on them? Oh, yeah. Those are I love those. I love those. I was watching one today. What’s going on? I was watching one today where his cat was like, « Yo, he he got surrounded by like a bunch of dogs. » [ __ ] was like, « Yo. » And they they was like, « Yo, what’s up? » Like, and they was like, he [ __ ] pilted on him. Yeah, he did. And then he ran under a car. And then you see like cuz it’s just around in the car. Yeah. Cuz it was just one dog. And then it was like And then it was like four. Yeah. And he was like, « Oh shit. » And you see him like looking around for his like escape route and he found it. Yeah. And then and then [ __ ] would chill for a little bit and then you see him come out and he looking around and he and Yeah. He was like, « Oh, they gone. I’m out. » Yeah. Like they like they good, bro. They figure it out. No, they be living their own cat life and [ __ ] Yeah. [ __ ] want to [ __ ] like take care of these animals for your for their whole life. Like Yeah. But they also don’t mind being taken care of. No one minds being taken care of. Yeah. They love that [ __ ] I told you about my neighbor’s cat. [ __ ] that cat. He’s such a nice cat. We had a whole fuss. What are we going to do? The same thing you was doing before you saw it. Cuz I ain’t want to leave him out there. Yeah, it was going to be out there regardless. Nah, not if I if I held him until she got home. None your [ __ ] business, [ __ ] Now he just like steadily tries to come in my apartment. But if you What if you saw a little kid standing outside the door? I’d be like, « Yo, where are your parents? » No, you wouldn’t. I bet you would walk right past them. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. If you see if it depends on the circumstances. You just saw a kid standing outside. If it’s like if I saw a kid that cat was sitting outside the door mind. That cat did not say, « Hey, hey, can you help me? Can’t get in. » You just But you needed to help the cat. If you saw a child standing outside, shut the [ __ ] up. Oh my god. You saw a child standing outside the door, wasn’t saying anything to you, just standing outside the door, minding his own business. Okay. Are you going to say something to that child? I want you to be completely honest with yourself. Okay, I’m going to change the circumstances because the cat was not just sitting there. The cat was clawing at the door. So, clearly the cat wanted to go in. Little boy knocking on the door. Right. If I saw a little boy knocking on the door, I’m not going to interrupt because no one is even I haven’t even given the person a chance to answer the door. You didn’t give the person to answer the door for the cat. The cat is clearly clawing at the door and no one’s going to hear it. No one’s going to hear the cat. This is a front door, not like your bedroom door. This is a front door made of entire metal, no one’s going to hear that cat clawing at that door. So, you’re not going to help a kid? No. Okay. If I If I’m there long enough, which I doubt I will be, like I’m not going to if no one answers the door after a while. Assume that you can kidnap. Then I’ll be like, « Hey, are you looking for someone? Like, what are you doing out here? » But you assume you can kidnap a cat. I didn’t kidnap the cat. You wanted to. You didn’t. But you wanted to. There’s a lot of cats I want to kidnap. That’s not That’s irrelevant. That’s That’s quite relevant. No, it’s not. It’s not. What do you mean? It’s not. How? I like animals. Paris. Jesus. You want to create an army of retards? I want to create an army of [ __ ] cats. You can. I will. There’s nothing stopping you. There’s laws against it. There’s no laws against [ __ ] armies. No, they’re not. No, they’re not. Find it. Find one. Find it and show it to me. I like I need like tax codes and [ __ ] right now. Find find it to me. Find it. Find it. Find it. Yeah. Find it, please. Laws against creating an army of retards. I want you to put it in that exactly like that. So, technically, I’ll be starting a militia. I’m pretty sure there are rules to starting a militia. And I don’t We’re getting into semantics. Huh? Did I say I want to arm a [ __ ] No. I want to children. No, you said retards. Yeah. You Yeah. You said [ __ ] You said it multiple times actually. Yeah. Yeah. What I plan on doing though. You tell me. I don’t know. I know what I’m You have some sort of agenda. I know what I’m going to do with an army of children. What? Okay. Okay. I’m going to train them. Can we get back to the master beton? No, I really don’t want to. No, I really want to know how this ends. So um London hosted Europe’s first so this actually spread across the country. London hosted Europe’s first masturbatorathon in 2006. It aims to remove the taboo and shame associated with masturbation. Obviously hund hundreds of persons raised money for the charity Terrence a charitable organization Terrence Higgins Trust. I don’t know if I want to look that up. and the sexual and reproductive health agency Marie Stoopes International. The masturbator, also called Wankathon, so so European was recorded by they recorded it by ZigZag Productions of London as part of an international documentary of the event. However, plans to broadcast this as part of its Wank Week series were abandoned. I can imagine why. But they can but but Japan can broadcast a man losing his mind in a in a small room. Yeah, they can. In 2009, Masanobu Sato won the masturbate held by the Center of Sex and Culture in San Francisco after masturbating for 9 hours and 35 minutes. Ouch. Nine. That’s a work day, my [ __ ] Plus overtime. Ow. Can you imagine the whole entire day you spent at work? You were jerking it that whole time. Shaping your dick up. Just Yeah. Just I’m talking rug all kinds of rug burn. Just all like Yeah. Yeah. I hate No, you need a lot of lube. You need a lot. Yo, man. When do you start feeling disgusted? Now my question is does it count if he like starts and then stops for a little and then like you got to take a break. Yeah. Like how does that work? Cuz I know your arm going to get tired after a while. Like how how do you switch? Like how does that work? I need to know the the stipulations. What are the rules for this? Can I stop and continue or does it stop when I nut? It took you nine hours to nut. Nine hours and 35 minutes. Kudos to you. I don’t think you’re doing it right. He’s the masturbation champion, bro. Yeah, you’re But you’re not doing it efficiently. Yeah. So, like like I said, the the Wikipedia page says 9 hours and 35 minutes, but this page on Reddit says 9 hours and 33 minutes. I’m gonna go Wiki. And and he’s even talked to the press about his handy awardwinning techniques. He’s got techniques. He’s got a whole a whole how to do it right book. What is it? Uh, masturbation for dummies. That’s what he’s got. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. His girlfriend doesn’t like sex, but supports him in his ambitions. Girlfriend doesn’t like sex. Maybe just not with him. In 2009, he beat, and they put beat in quotes. I love that. That’s hilarious. He beat his own record, extending it to 9 hours and 58 minutes. What? So now that has me wondering like how how long are you jerking off like on a regular? Like is this like a thing where you’re like, « All right, honey. Nobody bother me for the whole day. I’m going to jerk off. » Like you have to make an announcement because you need a whole day to get a nut. I’m not really understanding it. And I’m not either. I don’t want to. I don’t I really don’t want to. So Oh [ __ ] So he has strong sponsorships with Tango, a Japanese company that makes crazy futuristic masturbatory tools. So he’s got sponsorships, [ __ ] He’s a masturbating athlete. I’ve never is an athlete at this point. I never quite understood. He’s getting sponsored, bro. Sexual deviants. KY Jelly might sponsor him. Trojan might sponsor him. Yo, there’s money in this, man. I mean, kudos. You know how your parents say video games won’t uh make you money? Neither will basketball. Mom, I found something better. That’s crazy. So, Sato is also suspected to be the man behind the pen name Turbo Masterbo who wrote the book How to Masturbate Properly, which contains 100 masturbation commandments. Commandments. Thou shalt never dry masturbate. I’m not I’m not I’m not really feeling, dude. I’m not like I can’t get behind it. I want to know these commandments more for masturbation. Find me these commandments. I want to know these I want to know these commandments. Crazy. Well, it’s a whole event, [ __ ] It’s not just him. Like he just he just good at it. Yeah, he’s just good at it, bro. Like they like he didn’t make the event. But like see and he’s making money off it. Like what can you knock it for that? What is good at it? That that that I could I could do that for nine hours straight. Well, why would I want to? It’s for charity. That’s what they’re doing it for. Who’s charity helping? Uh uh people with sexual uh problems. People without hands who can’t masturbate. That they find a way. I was about to say, damn, they find a way. Dogs can’t masturbate. They hump. How’s a [ __ ] with no hands supposed to? They hump things. Oh, that’s depressing. Women hump things. It’s not the same. It’s not the same. Even if I got like one of those masturbation toys, like, how am I supposed to put it on? I don’t got no hands. You just find a nice little I got I got They just find a nice little crevice and like a cushion like Yeah. Yeah. That’s the one. You know, they’re like, « Why your couch got all these crusty marks on it? » Huh? Yeah. Yeah. Just humping [ __ ] Just a a fold of laundry. Just [ __ ] looking real good. Yeah. Is that Downey? You smell good, man. Yeah. [ __ ] wild. Oh, this is another video I wanted to show you cuz I thought this [ __ ] was [ __ ] wild, son. And I never thought about this. It got me thinking also about just names in general because you know they say like I looked this up earlier and it said people didn’t have like actual surnames and like last names until like the 11th century. So I was just John. I I guess you could just call yourself whatever you want like right and then you know that’s how a lot of our last names came to be because of like people named themselves Johnson. Yeah. Based off of their like occupation or like things like that or so that’s where like Baker came from or Yeah. things like that. Yeah. Smith. Yeah. But this one is telling the story of people whose real name is James Bond. And we talking white people, black people, like and they all have the same experience. But these are people who are named James Bond who have had run-ins with the police. Okay? Just keep that in mind. Okay? your name is James Bond and you have encounters with the police. It’s a good idea to have your ID with you. So he’s flashing light on my face and he he goes you. And I’m like yes sir. He’s like what’s your name? Tell me your name. When they got to me I’m like [ __ ] Oh [ __ ] I’m about to die. Um so I tell him James and he says uh do you got a last name there James? And I said Bond. James Bond. James Bond. My name James Bond. my name and they’ll just think I’m a cocky little teenager. Uh give giving him some flack. And so he reached through the window of the car and grabbed me by my shirt and said, « You [ __ ] with the wrong guy on the wrong day. » And proceeded to pull me through the window of the car. He looked at me like, « I’m going to give you one more chance to tell me the truth. » I’m telling the guy, « Please, please. » I’mma give you one more chance to tell me the truth. Yo, my name What’s her name? Yeah, but I I can see this pompous situation because these are how this is how the cops in New York act. Like you tell them one thing and then they just they got a [ __ ] attitude and they just like like oh you being smart with me, boy, [ __ ] Like come on, bro. I don’t even want to talk. Right. Yeah. I don’t even want to be in this situation. Like leave me alone. Right. Please, please. My name really is James Bond. My name is James Bond. Man, my name James Bond. That right there was enough to get the guy to draw down on me up from the holster and right in my face. And he’s like, « You’re right. And I’m Donald Duck. Get on the ground. Get on the ground. » He sort of calmed down, had me stand at the back of the car, went back to his car, ran my driver’s license, came back and said, « That’s a cool name, son. » And uh went ahead and let me go. I did get convicted of that. See, now that you heard he got let go. Nah, nah, nah. But, but ain’t no way you going to You draw your weapon on me. Yeah. And And then run my license. Yeah. We got a civil suit, brother. Then run my license. My ass and be like, « Cool. Cool name, son. » Like, what? Yeah. You’re going to be talking with my lawyer, dog. Like, yo, you five seconds ago you just had your gun in my face talking about I’m Donald [ __ ] Duck. What? Cool name, [ __ ] I was I was real with you from the beginning. The [ __ ] Do you believe that? I did get convicted of that because the judge said that I was obstructing the police officer from doing his job by me saying my name in a jokingly manner. I looked at the judge like, « Are you serious? How can I say, you know, James Bond in a jokingly manner? » You know, I just said my name and yeah, I had to do like 60 days in county jail for that. son. 60 days, bro. Two months he did in jail for that. Saying one dude, one dude, cool name. Other dude 60 days of jail, right? Difference between two people. You tell me. Right. That’s crazy, ain’t it? Crazy. 60 days. 60 days. That right there at that instance made me look at them at a different way because I knew that I had a long way to go with them. You know what I mean? By my name being James Bond and I’m black. Also, your parents monumentally [ __ ] up. If you don’t put some [ __ ] money on, it’s your fault. N I I honestly because Bond is not like an uncommon last name. Yeah, I knew someone I went to elementary school, her last name was Bond. Like, it’s not an uncommon name. And James is a very common first name. So, it’s very logical to think, you know, there might actually be a few James out there. Yeah. Like, I know it’s a popular movie character, but it’s also a common name. Yeah. And the fact that like you’re automatically thinking like I’mma shoot this [ __ ] cuz he like like you gave me a wrong name. That’s why would why would I just tell you my name is James Bond just what for for fun? Like why would I do that? I can think of a million fake names and that’s the one I chose. 007 right? You think I’m [ __ ] with you? No, [ __ ] This is my name. The [ __ ] I mean, but you know, there are people out there who will [ __ ] with the cops, but that still’s no reason to escalate any situation. The fact that almost all these cops had the same reaction is what’s blowing my mind. You think I’m [ __ ] right? Like, what? No, [ __ ] I just You asked me what my name is. I gave you ID with my name on it. I mean, that’s like, you know, funny. No, [ __ ] It’s not. You just use but even that reaction is far better than that. Right. Right. You know what I mean? Like if you were like, « Yeah, h stop [ __ ] with me. » But actually, I’m not [ __ ] with you. But to totally, you know, escalate the situation. Here’s the Whoa, whoa, whoa. Like, this [ __ ] had to go to jail 60 days, bro. Now, if it Now, I imagine this man has a job. Do you know what happens? Like, he’s getting fired, bro. Yeah, for sure. Because you can’t call nobody. Like you can’t like you can’t be like, « Hey guys, uh I’m not coming to work for the next uh 60 days. » 16 days. Why, James? Oh, I got locked up because a cop thought I was joking with him when I told him my name was James Bond. Yeah, these are these are clearly civil suits that need to be filed. Bro, also I think parents should be way more aware of sometimes people they just think it’s a cool name. Some cool [ __ ] I had a kid in my elementary school. His name was Edward Edwards. I could have did better than that. Come on, man. Come on, man. Ed and Ed. Edward Edwards. That’s a silly name. The only thing that’s separating your last name and first name is one letter. It’s a silly name. I I just feel like sometimes parents need to be more conscious of like James James. What we name our kids? Jimmy James. What we nameing our kids cuz this is this is getting out of hand. Matter of fact, I want to see a list of crazy 2025 names cuz it’s only March and I know they got to have some [ __ ] We’re in a new generation. Gen Z is also like I know there’s a lot of Daenerys out there. Khesi. Kesi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not Daenerys. Kesi. Crazy names. 2025. Let’s see. Arrow. That’s not that bad. That’s is What is it? Arrow like Ae R O like in Marvel Snap. Why? Uh well, it’s Greek fur of the sky. You know, everything has to have a meaning now. I think that’s silly. Uh these are unusual. Should I say trendy? No, trendy is too common. Really? Huh? That first one. Kai. Yeah, these are these are trendy names for 2025. Amelia. Maya. I like Maya. Liam. I feel like Liam is coming back. I always thought Liam was just short for William. Oh, I thought it was a name on its own. I thought Liam was a nickname for William. I That’s what I thought. I I don’t know anything about names, [ __ ] I like Liam as a name. I like that name. I think it’s cool. Liam Bees. Let’s see. Unusual baby names. I like the unusual better than the usual. Ghetto’s crazy. No, we’re not good. Ari is not unusual. I feel like that’s normal. Alaska, on the other hand, absolutely. Ashlin, Ashid sounds like a old woman. Bear, just bear. I’ve That’s what’s become common amongst these white Someone named Bear. Yeah. I’ve never heard of that. I have. Really? Holy [ __ ] Uh, Becket. I’ve heard of Beckett. Uh, Birdie. No. Bodie. Bod. Yeah. Cadence. Cammy. Binley. Cadence is [ __ ] Brin and Brinley is not Bridley. I mean, I can I could I could get with that cadence. I just hate No, that sounds gross. Brinley names are like verbs like Oh, this one. Case Caspian. I kind of like that. You ever watch Pantheon? No. No. What is that? Oh [ __ ] I got to put you on. It’s a I’m honestly at a loss for shows to watch. It’s lit. Nah, I know. I’m cycling between Abbott Elementary, Daredevil, Invincible, um, and, uh, uh, Common Side Effects. Common Side Effects is my new favorite show. Yo, I binged the whole [ __ ] Yeah, I binged that [ __ ] I was like, nah. Yeah. [ __ ] was like, « Yo, what if you had a mushroom that like, yo, the [ __ ] got stabbed in the [ __ ] thing. He ate the mushroom and just [ __ ] healed. » Like, I was like, « Oh, that’s kind of fire. » But I like where they’re at now in the season and they’re like, « What are the side effects? » Yeah, cuz they’re And they keep seeing they keep seeing that little um little Mexico. Yeah, they Yeah, they keep they keep seeing him and they’re like they all have that that same trippy experience. But it’s like, yo, no, it’s a good show. Yo, look at a little Mexico. But Pantheon is is like it’s an animated show. Actually, it came out on on AMC. You probably saw clips for on Instagram cuz people were posting about it about the scene where he was fighting homie and they were like, « Yo, what anime is this? » like um but it’s basically it’s like upload. It’s basically upload. What was the fight? Uh the the one of the people were fighting in this like uploaded consciousness. So it was basically like they’re fighting in a computer world where they can do anything. So that’s why it looked crazy. Oh, it look like Steve Jobs. Yes. Yes. That that’s from Pantheon. Oh. Yeah. So, I thought that was like some fan-made [ __ ] cuz No, it’s an animated show that comes on AMC called Pantheon. I’ll check it out. I’ll check it out. So, it was like this company was like uh what they did was they had this guy who was like the Steve Jobs of of the world. He created this this company and it was like some artificial intelligence company and he was like this renowned scientist. He was smart as [ __ ] He He you know he was innovative. He did all these things. So what they did was they cloned him and they raised him. They raised his clone in the same environment that he was raised in the hopes that he would come out just like him. So like he had he had an abusive childhood. So they hired agents to like purposely abuse him. Yeah, he they had these people act as his parents. And the the crazy thing is like the guy who was playing his father, he wasn’t like that. Like he was like like he felt bad. Like he was like, I know I have to do this for the greater good, but like I like I actually care about the kid. I raised him. On the other hand, the mother was acting like the [ __ ] She Yeah, she was acting like the loving figure, but behind closed doors, she ain’t give a [ __ ] So it was like the roles were reversed like and he didn’t see that he hated the [ __ ] because the [ __ ] was acting like an abusive father and he really loved the mom and he really Yeah. But he didn’t know that the guy actually really cared for him and really loved him like cuz they raised him. They raised him since he was a baby. He was formed in a lab and they raised him as his quote unquote parents. So the kid is smart as [ __ ] Yeah. And they tell you two different stories. So it’s his story. He’s bright as a clone. He’s bright as a clone. Yeah. But he doesn’t know that. Okay. So there’s two different stories. His story that that’s going on and then there’s this girl and her father cuz the company is called Logarithms. Her father works for Logarithms. And her father, he was like heavily involved in that upload uh uh thing that they were developing. Yeah. She didn’t know that obviously and uh her father died. I think he died in like a car accident or something. Some [ __ ] happened to him and uh she didn’t know but they they the company uploaded her father’s consciousness cuz they were like he’s important to the company and we need him. Yeah. Because they didn’t know but they’ve uploaded people before previously. But what they found is that uh just like our brains rot over time, your upload rots over time. And what they could not figure out was how to stop that from happening. Okay? So they needed him to figure that out. To they needed Steve Jobs to figure that out cuz they was like this guy was the pioneer behind all this [ __ ] If anybody could figure it out, it’s him. So they breeded this clone specifically to figure this [ __ ] out. He’s dead, huh? No, the original guy. Yeah, he’s dead. He died, but his consciousness is uploaded. His consciousness as well as like other people. Like they’ve done it to other people. Yeah. But the problem is they didn’t find a way to do it postmortem. So they upload your conscious while you’re alive. And [ __ ] be like the the crazy thing is there was a company in India that was copying them and they kidnapped this dude that was a part of their company and like uploaded him and they recorded it and like while he’s being uploaded you see the [ __ ] like scanning his brain and doing [ __ ] to his brain and he’s like ah help help macaroni dog uh [ __ ] uh [ __ ] his brain up. Yeah. like it’s like doing and I was like oh that’s [ __ ] crazy and and like you see his brain he’s like uh um uh help the like you see yo it was wild it was a wild scene I was like that’s that’s also kind of cringey but um that’s creepy yeah so they created and the the Steve Jobs clone the the kid his name is Caspian so uh that’s why I was like oh Caspian I thought of it when I saw But um the show gets crazier, but she ends up getting uh the girl ends up getting uh uh uh like a chat message from like a stranger. It’s her dad. Yeah. But and then he starts like eventually but he only talks in emojis because what they found was when you first like upload them, they don’t know what they are. So they figured by giving him his emotions and his memories, it might trigger some [ __ ] that would like help him get back to normal and be able to help him figure this [ __ ] out, right? So they g when they gave him his emotions and his memories, he remembered his daughter, so he reached out to her, but he wasn’t fully himself, so he could only talk in emojis. So she had to like decipher it. She was like, « What the fuck? » Like, and then then the mom found out. And then it it was like a whole thing, bro. But it gets even crazier. There’s a second season where the whole entire world got rid of the internet because they realize how dangerous these uploads are. Cuz these [ __ ] can access anything. They’re like Jarvis, [ __ ] They can [ __ ] hack the the uh [ __ ] CSI if they wanted to. They can [ __ ] like uh they can do anything. Yeah. The CIA. CIA. Yeah. They could do anything. They could literally do anything. So people got scared. So they were like, « Nigga, we need no electricity, no internet, no [ __ ] nothing. Nothing tied to We went back to the Stone Age. That’s funny. Yeah, it gets [ __ ] wild. Watch it. It’s an interesting watch. » No, I’ll check it out. I’ll check it out. I like the new uh dramatic animated shows. I think I think that they were um they were green. What do you mean dramatic animated shows like Pantheon and Oh uh what’s the other one? Um common side effects. Oh yeah, I think these I think a lot of these shows were green lit during co common side effects definitely. Yeah, I think they were green lit during COVID like when they couldn’t have people in the studios with each other, right? And and this is what came about. Yeah. Yeah. And I’m here for it. I like it. No. Comment side effects. I honestly I didn’t know in that scene in the in the trailer where they showed the two agents dancing. I didn’t know that was a woman. I thought that the way they Yeah. The way they the animation is kind of weird. It is. I like it though. I think she’s hilarious. I No, she is cuz she’s like April. She’s very monotone and like Oh, really? Oh. She pissed me off over in the last episode. I’m trying to remember what happened in the last episode. The dude was like, « Yo, » her old partner was like, « Yo, this is a conspiracy. » And she goes, « Yeah, let’s just bring it back to the uh government. » I think I might be. He’s like, « Nah, we like that’s the conspiracy. What do you mean? » Oh, the black guy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Cuz he found he finds out like the person that they were working for actually works with the that Russian dude. Yeah. And um he’s like there’s something up like big farmer’s involved with this guy. They’re saying he’s this but we’ve been watching him all this time. He hasn’t done nothing crazy. Oh, I think I did see that cuz he was like, I don’t understand why they want us to watch him because he looks like a normal guy. Like Yeah. Yeah. That was the beginning. Yeah. This is a few episodes later. He he starts looking into it and he finds like her hanging out with like this big farmer dude. The dude who’s over, you know, the Russian dude. Yeah. And like now I thought he was German. Is he Russian? Russian or German? I I don’t know how to distinguish white accents. Um Yeah. Okay. I’m just being honest. It is what it is. Um and um he’s uh he finds out he has like some sort of cancer. like he has like very little time to live. I saw the episode where he was at the doctor’s office. Yeah. Where they’re at now. Like he’s like he’s trying to grow the mushroom cuz they’re all under the pressure that he’s dead. The um forget his name. You know what I’m saying? Uh they’re all under the pressure that he’s dead. His name is Marshall. Is it? Marshall. Yeah. Yeah. They’re all under pressure that Marshall’s dead. So he’s like, I got to figure out how to recreate this mushroom myself. So, he has like a bunch of random people working on it and he’s just eating all types of dried ass mushrooms and it’s not working. He looks very sickly. And then he gets the call like, « Yo, Marshall’s alive. » Yeah. But then um at the end of the episode, Shorty kills him. The old lady. Old lady. The old mushroom lady. She killed him. Yeah. She She finds his farm. She starts cooking up with the the hill. I remember she She starts cooking up with the hillbilly neighbors. Yeah. Yeah. And then um I remember she ran her own [ __ ] and she was like Yeah. Yeah. And then the the shorty who was doing the um the micologist who was um Yeah. Cuz she went missing. Yeah. The mistracted. Yeah. She she’s her one of her students. She gets she she helps Marshall fake his death, get out. Yeah. And you know, she takes him um back to the camp and he’s like, « Yo, what the [ __ ] y’all got going on over here? » And she’s like, « Yo, we’re trying to cook this [ __ ] bro. like we know we could cook it here, we just don’t know how. Yeah. He’s like like he’s like like doesn’t trust it, but then he’s like, « Fuck it. » Like I guess. And then he shows him how to do it. They start cooking. They start making mad mushrooms and people start coming from all over to get healed. And he’s like, « Look, I’m not healing paper cuts. Get the [ __ ] out of here. » But like, you know, sick like very sickly. Right. Yeah. Because the her thatal illness the shorty her mom had like some sort of uh mental like she was awful. No, she wanted to climb a tree so she climbed a tree and she fell. Yeah. I don’t I don’t I think that had less to do with the the side effect and more to do just a [ __ ] want to climb a tree. Um yeah. So they’re doing that [ __ ] and then this dude comes in. He’s like tweaking. He comes in to kill Marshall. Yeah. But it’s the dude that he saved from the car accident. Oh [ __ ] This is [ __ ] me up. Like, what the [ __ ] did you give me? Oh, so the side effects are worse than we thought. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And side effects are becoming worse because he’s had the mushroom like four times already. Well, he’s had it more than four. [ __ ] almost died like 50 times. Seeing this [ __ ] all the time now. He goes, so he’s like, « Yo, let’s pump the brakes on this cuz I don’t know like real test because we don’t know. I don’t know the side effects, right? » And she’s like and they she’s like trying to make um she’s trying to make uh tonics and [ __ ] like with the mushroom. Yeah. Like she’s like she’s trying to like widely disperse this [ __ ] Get some cash. She got the the dude selling it as solution on the side while she’s trying to cook up a tonic to, you know, sell to the masses. Oh, so any drug or any thing that could magically heal you instantly should probably be Yeah. they like, you know, explored for Mar to be as you know um the way he No, cuz initially when the show first started he was like yo we need to get this to everybody but now you’re saying he’s like wait maybe we should because now he’s like yo but let’s look at the side effects but you know he they make him seem so rational. It’s like why didn’t you think about this before begin with but you know I can see like with all the amazement of watching somebody come back from the dead Yeah. You might just be like, « Yo, everyone needs it. » Right. So, yeah. And you And I like I like the part where the big farmer dude explains to the dumb farmer dude like, « Yo, this is like you can’t give this to the masses. » Yeah. He was like, « Bro, are you crazy? Like, this will happen, that will happen, this will happen. » Like, then think about like that. He’s like, « Yo, if you can heal anything, what like what are we looking at in terms of war? » Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like you they’re just going to find more deadly ways to to kill people. Mhm. You know what I mean? I didn’t even think about it from that angle, but Yeah. And I was like, « Fair enough. » Yeah. And then everybody’s got a [ __ ] sensu bean. Yeah. But and then the biggest the biggest part of it was like, you know, how do you control giving it to the masses, right? Cuz you know, supply and demand is real regardless of, you know, if you think you’re if you think you’re going to give something out for free or not. Like if you think if you think you’re giving out for free, the demand is going to be crazy. I tell you right now, if that [ __ ] was real, it’d be [ __ ] chaos, bro. It’s real, bro. Absolute chaos. It’s real. Absolutely. I’m here for conspiracy. I’m like, there’s a mushroom out there. I’m sure something crazy enough exists that they don’t bring it to the public. Like, there are people dead just like all them doctors died on that on that plane. Oh, yeah. Yeah. First of all, I believe I believe the studies of stem cells and their effects, there’s no way they they couldn’t come up with a way to like regrow organs in your body. True. That or fully heal organs. I I think they figured this [ __ ] out, but where’s the money? Well, yeah. Big farmer wouldn’t exist. We without us being sick. And Big Farmer is such a rape. No. Yeah. Big farmer is such a rape, bro. Like it’s tied it’s tied so delicately delicately in everything like into into um labor. Like how are you tied into labor? Yeah. You know what I mean? Like like it’s not even up to a individual to acquire their healthcare. Like you’re tied into their employment and you know forces to do but look look let me not just get into it like I just know everything. I this is just you know things Yeah. Yeah. You know what I mean? This [ __ ] is I mean especially in America. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. Absolutely. And I don’t I don’t know. I really don’t know how healthcare works in a lot of other countries. You know some other countries say they you know healthcare is free but like Canada is free. I’m like it’s it has to be it’s free but to a certain extent. Yeah. Like I like you know most likely you’re not you’re not coughing up $30 for your um for your copay or some [ __ ] like that. like you, you know, you don’t have to worry about that. But like you’re not getting surgeries for free, right? But uh I just don’t Yeah, we might need to do more research with that cuz I I don’t know the extent of what the healthcare looks like. But you’re right, they a lot of people do say it’s free. Yeah. But I don’t think it’s completely free. Like there’s a catch. Yeah, there’s always a catch. There’s always a gadget because no matter how you look at it throughout the world, big pharma big farmer is bigger than any country. Like these are like a a lot of these bigies conglomerates are conglomerates that are umbrella under an umbrella. You know what I mean? Like this this one or two at the top. Yeah. The rest are just little like they’re all connected. You know what I mean? Mhm. So, you know, there’s there’s something to it. Oh, yeah. No, I I wholeheartedly I really can’t I mean I I don’t know, so I can’t say. Should we do an entire like twohour episode about big pharma? I mean, I could I could do a little deep dive and and really get into it, but you know, let’s do some big pharma conspiracy. Yeah. I mean, it’s not a conspiracy. It’s it’s very real. No. Yeah, it is. Raping us. Uh, I was going to talk about naked. Did you um like big farmer um Medicaid? Yeah, they um they have like a new um like uh uh certification form where you have to give them your bank account number. You have to give them your account number. You have to give them the amount of money you have in your account. You got to uh like if you have any like trust funds or [ __ ] like that, you have to give them that information. Uh you have to let them know if you have any money put up for um like your like uh your postmart ceremonies, your burial and stuff like that. Like they want all your information. Oh, so they’re they’re tackling you heard anything about medicating? I did not. But it seems to me they’re tackling the people who are like, you know, Yeah, there wasn’t I mean after co there was like an influx of people who had Medicaid but were making like good money. So I think that’s probably why they’re doing that. I think that’s to tackle that. Yeah. But I feel like it’s super invasive. Oh yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I feel like it’s super super invasive. But you also have [ __ ] who take advantage of the system. So now this is what we have to do, right? You have one bad apple that spoils the bunch. And that’s usually the case. Everything that happens, somebody did that [ __ ] That’s why they got like Yeah. But there’s also the fact that Donald Trump has has told us verbatim that him and people in league with him and in league with most people in the government, people who have money commit fraud consistently. Oh yeah, we all have money. We all commit fraud. It’s okay. I promise you no one’s getting hurt. So, like what what are we doing there? Like, you know what I’m saying? Nothing. Investigate. Like, you know, tell some tell somebody like like them like, « Oh, I want to investigate where you have all your funds at. » You’re you’re getting you’re getting drowned in litigation. What’s your last name? Rosenberg. Oh, sorry. Like, oh, yeah. Yeah. My mistake. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I just think that’s weird. Who run the world? you want to harass these poor people, you know what I mean? Like, god forbid I had a little bit of money put up for like, you know, right? Like, well, that looks a little suspicious there, [ __ ] I’m sorry I need health insurance and I’m sorry I made a little money though. [ __ ] like, my bad, bro. Yeah, it’s insane. It really is insane. You know, you got people like me who pay for health insurance. I don’t remember the last time I went to the doctor. You probably should go to the doctor. I mean, we’re we’re we’re old enough. Not even alive. We’re old enough at this point where we should start regularly going to I’ve been to the doctor recently. How recent? We talking two years ago. That’s not recent. Nah, you need every year. You need to go up. We’re 3 months in. I’m chilling. About to be Well, actually, we’re basically four months in. Yeah. Last time I went to the doctor, he said, « Bro, you’re dead. » And I’m like, « Chill. » He’s like, « You need to chill. » I was like, « All right, relax. There’s no reason you should be alive. Yeah. Yeah. This is news to me, Doc. But yeah, uh we make a lot of [Applause] um half- winded promises. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We’re gonna do better. Henry sucks. I’m no better. Wow. N. But we’re going to cook. We got to have to I was going to talk about this show, but I’m going to save it for for next episode. Make it attraction. I could I started watching it. It’s on HBO, but I’m only watching it for the vaginas. But it’s definitely an interesting show. Like what they do is they have one contestant who has to pick from I don’t know how many people. It’s usually like maybe I guess like six to eight people. And they they have them naked. The contestant isn’t naked, but the people are naked. Why? Uh I I don’t know if it’s to like uh I guess get the the taboo [ __ ] out the way like or maybe it’s just like a way to see like cuz it’s very shallow. I mean, you’re judging this person based off of their naked body. So what it does is uh all the people will be covered right by this like thing and it’ll cover them down to like maybe like their knees. So all you can see is their feet. So obviously you can see you know their skin complexion. That’s probably the only thing you can tell. And then the host will like talk and if they have terrible toes, right? The host will talk to the contestant whether it’s a male, female, doesn’t matter. Uh that matters. Well, I mean it matters on what you’re going to see. whether you’re going to see a bunch of penises or you going to see a bunch of vaginas. Yeah, that matters. You’re right. It does matter. So, um they talk to them, they ask them, you know, like, « What do you like in a person? » That kind of gay [ __ ] And then they’re like, « All right, we’re going to do the first round. » So, then they lift the the barrier up to like their waist. So, now you see a whole bunch of penises. And we talking flaccid penises. So I’m like, « Y’all [ __ ] are brave as [ __ ] because ain’t no way. Ain’t no way I’m going on national TV soft, [ __ ] Soft. No way. No way. I got to have I got to have at least a chub. No way. I’m going on national soft, bro. Soft. Straight soft. » And so uh then it goes up to their waist, right? It stops there. So then the the host will be like, « All right, anybody here, you know, let’s go contestant by contestant. » And they’ll look at their balls, look at their dick, and they’ll be like, « Okay, this is what I liked. This is what I didn’t like. » And then they’ll like eliminate one person or two people. And then the person that they eliminate, they’ll lift the whole [ __ ] up completely, like this is what you missed out on. And then she’ll be like, « Oh man, I didn’t mean to eliminate you. I just saw your dick and it looked weird. » But you actually look like a handsome person. Sorry. Next. And then it’ll it’ll and then it’ll go like this. The strangest show ever. It is. And then it’ll go like up to like their neck. So you can’t see their face, but you can see like their torso. Yeah. So you can see like if they have a nice body or if they’re fat or if they’re You know what I’m saying? Yeah. Then they’ll eliminate based on that. And then you know whoever it is they’ll So you standing here flaccid for like 30 minutes [ __ ] just judge dick out. Yeah. Just I’m like nah this is a wild show and they do it the same way for men. If the contestants are men the women just sit there. So you get to see full bush. Yeah. You see full bush or no bush but you don’t get to see what the titties look like until you eliminate based off of the badge. Yeah. So then you be like you might have eliminated short. You got something big ass to. You’re like damn I [ __ ] up. So So you don’t know like and I’m like I also don’t know what the exact point of the show is but I thought this is a wild [ __ ] show. Like it sounds pretty terrible. They only show it on HBO Max. I don’t think I want to watch this show. It’s it’s just interesting. I’ll be like, « Yo, shorty cho looking kind of you just that’s an interesting looking anything to see naked people. » Yeah, it’s just interesting. A child. It’s just interesting. And maybe I’m a nudist. I think I need to go to like a nudist colony and like see where I fit in, you know? But my biggest fear is like going to a nudist colony and like getting an erection cuz now I’ll be like, « Damn, cuz none of y’all are hard. Am I Am I just like super horny or am I vulnerable or in this moment? Like I just like like I don’t know what it is. Like what? Cuz I feel like if I go I’m going be bricked up. I’m be like, « Yo, y’all don’t see all these titties everywhere, bro. » Like Yeah. And they’re going to be like, « Why are you hard? » I’m like, « Why are you not hard, [ __ ] The fuck? » Like the [ __ ] I don’t know. And but I feel like people are going to judge me. Am I vulnerable? Yeah. Cuz it’s like normal for them. Like this is just what they do. You know what I mean? Like but me, I’m like I’m new here. I’m new here. Sorry. I’m I still get erections when I say nice beats. Nice beats. Nice beats. I just can’t be like And they’re going to be like, « You’re weird. » I’m like, « Nigga, you’re weird. I like titties, bro. I’m sorry. » Like, what the [ __ ] Yeah, you’re big [ __ ] kid. walk around bricked up like I’m like, « Yo, he’s making us all feel uncomfortable. » And I’m like, « You know what? Take away. All of y’all are making me feel uncomfortable. You know what? This takes me like 9 hours. Do you know what I got to do to get rid of this? I’m the Master Bathon Champion, man. Have you ever heard of me? Named Sato. S? Look me up. I got a wiki page. Yeah. .

Déroulement de la vidéo:

0.16 This is the power of this. Yo, what&;s a
0.16 homeless rap about? I really want to
0.16 know. Drink all the [ __ ] alcohol.
0.16 Maybe me and myself are cool. I&;m
0.16 [ __ ] your mom. Suck me. You are ugly.
0.16 You&;re ugly. He&;s probably in the
0.16 bathroom. Yo, police. Is this illegal?
0.16 You don&;t have to spread your legs. You
0.16 might just have to bend over. Ash play.
0.16 Feel the rage, baby. Feel the rage.
0.16 Pour me up, Dad.
0.16 [Music]
0.16 I don&;t know why this song is in my
0.16 [Music]
0.16 head. I want to sex you up.
0.16 You know what I&;m Damn, [ __ ] All
0.16 right. [ __ ]
0.16 Oh, d [ __ ] man. Gope it all down.
0.16 That&;s what she
0.16 said. Gulp it on down, baby.
0.16 If anyone who could see this glass knows
0.16 that we are true alcoholics.
0.16 It&;s [ __ ] don&;t even pour glasses like
0.16 this in the
0.16 movies. I always wonder, do they do they
0.16 uh use raw alcohol?
0.16 They should use raw alcohol. It&;ll make
0.16 the experience a little more uh I saw
0.16 you shy. Do you ever see um you know uh
0.16 damn what&;s this nigga&;s name? Pete
0.16 Holmes. You know Pete Holmes? No. The
0.16 comedian? Pete? You&;ve seen him before?
0.16 Only Pete. I think his name is Pete. No,
0.16 I think his name is Pete Holmes. Yeah.
0.16 Hold up. Let Let me look him up real
0.16 quick. Pete Holmes. [ __ ] you know him?
0.16 He&;s a well-known comedian. Yeah. Yeah.
0.16 Been on like SNL or some [ __ ] He might
0.16 have. Hold up. This guy, you never seen
0.16 him before?
0.16 Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
0.16 He did a skit where he was uh playing um
0.16 James Bond, but uh they they were
0.16 sponsoring like a vodka. So he you know
0.16 how he&;s always like, "I need my martini
0.16 shaken, not stirred." That kind of
0.16 thing. So he orders it and then he like
0.16 uh tastes it and he [ __ ] up on the
0.16 line. He was like, "Is this real vodka?"
0.16 And they were like, "Yeah, we&;re getting
0.16 sponsored by this company." So he kept
0.16 [ __ ] up. So they had to keep doing
0.16 multiple takes, but he kept getting
0.16 drunker the more takes they did. I&;m
0.16 here. I&;m here for that scare, right?
0.16 Yeah. So I&;m like, what if they use real
0.16 alcohol? Like that&;s probably what would
0.16 happen, though. Yeah. It&;ll be a [ __ ]
0.16 mess. But you know, they have method
0.16 actors like [ __ ] uh Leonardo
0.16 DiCaprio. They said when he did that
0.16 scene where he smashed the glass in
0.16 Django that he actually did that. I
0.16 mean, and [ __ ] was like, "Oh shit."
0.16 Yeah. That&;s true acting. That&;s true
0.16 acting. And and uh yeah, they said Jimmy
0.16 Fox said when he said [ __ ] he made him
0.16 say it from the heart.
0.16 There was a uh you know um Wolf of Wall
0.16 Street with Margot Robbie. You remember
0.16 the scene where she shows her [ __ ] She
0.16 shows her [ __ ] for real. Yeah. They
0.16 said they said she showed her [ __ ] for
0.16 real just to like you know throw them
0.16 off. Keep it real. Yeah. Yeah. I would
0.16 been Leo&;s probably like hold one more
0.16 one more take. One more one more take. I
0.16 didn&;t I didn&;t get a hold up.
0.16 Not young enough for him. [ __ ] that
0.16 would have Margot Robbiey&;s pretty
0.16 young. No, he likes him 17, brother. He
0.16 said 25. Okay, that&;s when he gives him
0.16 up. That&;s when he drops him loose. Oh
0.16 [ __ ] Let me see. How old is Margot
0.16 Robbie?
0.16 [Music]
0.16 You got to remember 3. She&;s the same
0.16 age as us. Yeah. Too too too old for
0.16 him. I thought she was older. He likes
0.16 He likes his [ __ ] fresh out of high
0.16 school. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. Don&;t be
0.16 talking about the [ __ ] posi. Don&;t be
0.16 talking about the [ __ ] posi like that.
0.16 Suck this baby&;s dick. [ __ ] Cuba,
0.16 man. That&;s Trey, bro. That&;s [ __ ]
0.16 radio, [ __ ]
0.16 Coach, I could play football if you let
0.16 me play football.
0.16 Yo, I can&;t I can&;t unhear that now.
0.16 Like, that [ __ ] is so funny.
0.16 You think I can&;t play football, so I
0.16 don&;t play football. It becomes my
0.16 reality.
0.16 Yo, I can&;t take that [ __ ] seriously. I
0.16 also can&;t take Cuba seriously after he
0.16 uh, you know, screamed out, "Suck that
0.16 baby&;s dick in the middle." Shirtless in
0.16 the middle of a club. Yeah. Yeah. I
0.16 can&;t take him seriously. But what a
0.16 life to live. You know,
0.16 I await the day where I&;m shirtless in a
0.16 club shouting [ __ ] wild nuances. Oh,
0.16 he was on a a plethora of drugs. I&;m
0.16 with that. You&;re not a drug person.
0.16 Maybe. Yeah, you&;re not. You know that&;s
0.16 your thing. Stick to that. Yeah. Yeah. I
0.16 like tea. Iced tea. Yeah. Unsweetened
0.16 apparently.
0.16 Quite bitter, actually. Yeah.
0.16 Oh, I felt that in my chest a little,
0.16 you know. Got that burn. [ __ ]
0.16 Oh god. Clearing up my sinuses. Yo, look
0.16 at this [ __ ] I found already. the
0.16 world&;s masturbation
0.16 champion. Mas Masanobu Sato is the world
0.16 champion in masturbation. Do you know
0.16 he&;s Japanese? I Is he uh African name?
0.16 No. No. He&;s definitely some sort of
0.16 Asian. I just don&;t know if he&;s
0.16 Japanese, but I would also Sabo or Sato.
0.16 Sato. Probably is Japanese. Probably
0.16 Japanese. Do you know what this man has
0.16 to accomplish to be the champion of the
0.16 world? I don&;t think he knows me in
0.16 masturbation. Never met me. No, no, no,
0.16 no. You&;ve never met him. You don&;t know
0.16 what I&;m capable of. No, you don&;t know
0.16 what he&;s capable of. Henry, you tell me
0.16 I can&;t masturbate. So, that becomes my
0.16 reality.
0.16 Bad. Indeed, I can masturbate. I did it
0.16 before I came here.
0.16 Yo, in 2008, so this is not even like
0.16 that long ago. Oh, 2008, dude. I was
0.16 like 16. I can I can outm bass.
0.16 No, not this guy. Yo, not this guy. Yo,
0.16 what&;s his numbers? Yo, what&;s his
0.16 numbers looking like? He pleasure first
0.16 of all, he pleasured himself in front of
0.16 crowds. So, he had an audience like he
0.16 wasn&;t doing this at home by himself.
0.16 So, this is not taboo. Yeah. This is
0.16 just like I can jerk it anywhere,
0.16 anytime, any day. Nobody&;s judging them
0.16 around anybody. Dick in front of us.
0.16 Yeah. Just straight dick. This is in San
0.16 Francisco. It was It was at the Can you
0.16 legally do that in San Francisco? Cuz
0.16 you can legally shoot up dope in San
0.16 Francisco. It&;s at San Francisco&;s
0.16 annual
0.16 masturbate. I need to look this up now.
0.16 Yeah, I need I need to look this up now.
0.16 Uh
0.16 Masterbait
0.16 Aon. Like I need to know the rules. I
0.16 need to know how this works. I need to
0.16 Oh, there&;s a Wikipedia page for it.
0.16 Yeah. Yeah. Pop that open. There&;s even
0.16 a Reddit page for it. The masturbator.
0.16 Yo, look at the logo.
0.16 Oh [ __ ]
0.16 Red Bull gives you wings.
0.16 I didn&;t even notice that till you
0.16 Yo, that is For those who can&;t see, yo,
0.16 look up everybody. I I encourage you
0.16 right now to look up the logo for the
0.16 Master Betathon. No need. I We&;ll show
0.16 you. Yo, no. Look that [ __ ] up.
0.16 That is wild.
0.16 Um, so the masturbate is an event in
0.16 which participants masturbate. Why does
0.16 it have high legs and not four legs?
0.16 You&;re focused on the wrong thing,
0.16 Paris. This is crazy.
0.16 In which participants masturbate to
0.16 raise money for charity. It&;s like a
0.16 Gryffindus. Like
0.16 it&;s a griffalis. Cockindor. It&;s a
0.16 griffales. It&;s a It&;s a It&;s so
0.16 strange. A cockindor. Yeah. This is
0.16 insane. And And they they do it to raise
0.16 money for charity increase and increase
0.16 the public awareness and dispel the
0.16 shame and taboos that exist about
0.16 masturbation.
0.16 Okay. From 1998 to 2003, the Master
0.16 Betaon raised around
0.16 $25,000 for women&;s health initiatives
0.16 and HIV prevention. That&;s a fair amount
0.16 of money. What&;s their over five years?
0.16 Oh, in the span of five years. Yeah. I
0.16 don&;t think that&;s a lot. Thousand a
0.16 year. I don&;t think many people came to
0.16 this thing. I&;m about to say like how
0.16 many people were there, right? Yeah.
0.16 That&;s what I would like to know.
0.16 Um, the event uh awards several honors.
0.16 Imagine that the participants of this
0.16 don&;t have a lot of money.
0.16 Yeah. I mean, whoever came up with the
0.16 idea, let&;s go up in a crowd and just
0.16 jerk off in front of everybody. You know
0.16 what? Because it&;s for awareness of of
0.16 the shame that comes with masturbation.
0.16 Don&;t be afraid. Jerk off wherever you
0.16 like. Yo, and this started in 1995, bro.
0.16 They the event awards several honors for
0.16 those who raise the most money as well
0.16 as the most orgasms and endurance.
0.16 Chill. So, you&;re getting rated on
0.16 several categories. Okay. Like, how&;s
0.16 your stroke? I&;m sure this would thrive
0.16 on Only Fans or some [ __ ] like that. I
0.16 don&;t understand why it wouldn&;t have
0.16 been like a a um like a Pornhub thing or
0.16 something like
0.16 That&;s true. When did Pornhub come out?
0.16 Internet.
0.16 Yeah. Yeah. Birth of Manet. Birth of
0.16 Pornhub. You know, that&;s crazy because
0.16 we did a whole episode about Pornhub. I
0.16 can&;t remember.
0.16 I just remember that they wanted they
0.16 they want they wanted and still want to
0.16 shut it down. Yeah. And how dare you. I
0.16 mean, now it&;s been banned in certain. I
0.16 mean, but now I look at this, I&;m just
0.16 like, now
0.16 maybe like, you know, I think this is a
0.16 little too far. Were there any kids at
0.16 this event? [ __ ] all that. Look at this
0.16 logo, [ __ ]
0.16 They They&;ve gone too far. It&;s an
0.16 interesting logo. They&;ve gone too far.
0.16 Where&;s their designer? We need to call
0.16 them. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no.
0.16 These [ __ ] need to be arrested, bro.
0.16 This is This is crazy. This is the most
0.16 insane [ __ ] I&;ve ever seen. It&;s based
0.16 on What are your thoughts about it? It&;s
0.16 based on an ancient Roman good luck
0.16 charm. That&;s what it says. [ __ ] that.
0.16 Let me see what the good luck charm
0.16 looks like. Yeah. Yeah. Click that.
0.16 Oh. Oh, okay.
0.16 Two dicks tied together. That&;s what it
0.16 looks like. Yeah. Jesus [ __ ] Christ.
0.16 Yo, what&;s up with [ __ ] In ancient
0.16 Roman religion, uh, the fascinist was
0.16 the embodiment of the divine fallus. No,
0.16 they were pretty obsessed with penises
0.16 with penises. Yeah, it seems so. Yes.
0.16 Yeah. Italy, man.
0.16 Penises. All right. Uh,
0.16 let&;s go back to the
0.16 masturbatoron. In May 1995, Matthew was
0.16 just born. San
0.16 Franciscobased sex toy shop. Good
0.16 vibrations. That&;s a good name. Feel it.
0.16 That is a good name for a sex toy shop.
0.16 They&;re cooking. Uh declared May to be
0.16 masturbation month. Hey, it&;s coming up.
0.16 What is the national recognition of May?
0.16 Uh [ __ ] Good question. Right. or April
0.16 for that matter.
0.16 I think April&;s like autism awareness.
0.16 Hold up, let me look up.
0.16 I know March is for the women.
0.16 What&;s May known for?
0.16 Spring. Yeah, we know it has Memorial
0.16 Day and all that [ __ ] but like what is
0.16 it? Oh yeah, Cinco de Mayo. National pet
0.16 Month. [ __ ] that.
0.16 You know, don&;t even get me [ __ ]
0.16 started with the pets. Yes, I I know
0.16 what you&;re gonna I know what you&;re
0.16 going to say. I seen a lady with two
0.16 dogs in a stroller and it made me want
0.16 to kick it. So, I know how you feel. Oh,
0.16 you talking about my home girl who Oh,
0.16 yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. Her dogs are
0.16 very nice. It&;s not about the dogs and
0.16 she&;s a very sweet. It&;s just It&;s the
0.16 principal. See, she needs companionship.
0.16 I get that much. I I don&;t understand
0.16 that. That&;s probably why she has a dog.
0.16 The idolization of animals over people.
0.16 It just bugs me out. Yeah. I I Yeah.
0.16 Well, you know, um some people aren&;t
0.16 worth
0.16 saving. Animals love you regardless. I
0.16 was going to say everyone is worth
0.16 saving. Animals don&;t love you
0.16 regardless. Some animals don&;t love you.
0.16 Some animals want to eat you. The big
0.16 ones. Yeah. If you die, your cat will
0.16 eat your face. Well, that&;s just
0.16 survival. If I was starving, I&;d eat the
0.16 cat. Chances are, I&;ve probably eaten a
0.16 cat already in my life. Right. You want
0.16 to know why the cat would eat the face?
0.16 Because a cat can&;t open a [ __ ] door.
0.16 Yeah, but that&;s not their fault. That&;s
0.16 evolution. They don&;t have thumbs.
0.16 They&;re not supposed to be inside.
0.16 Well, we domesticated them. Don&;t. It&;s
0.16 too late. This is years of of
0.16 deevolution. We&;ve brought wolves to
0.16 dogs and and we&;ve brought bigger other
0.16 felines to cats.
0.16 Well, I want a [ __ ] bobcat. You ever
0.16 seen a how big a bobcat is? Are you
0.16 dumb? I I want like some exotic animal.
0.16 I want some next a [ __ ] ocelot. Yeah.
0.16 Yeah. Yo, I saw this [ __ ] uh this I
0.16 forgot what kind of cat it was, but it&;s
0.16 like illegal in New York, but it&;s legal
0.16 in Jersey, but it&;s a cool looking cat.
0.16 Yo, it looks like a [ __ ] like a
0.16 leopard. And they&;re like slightly
0.16 bigger than like a normal cat. And they
0.16 just climb on [ __ ] and it&;s like you
0.16 can&;t have them in New York. I don&;t
0.16 know why. I think New York is like one
0.16 of those states you can&;t have exotic
0.16 animals. But wasn&;t there a [ __ ] with a
0.16 tiger in the Manhattan? There&;s [ __ ]
0.16 with all kinds of [ __ ] I saw a video of
0.16 a kangaroo on a subway, so I don&;t even
0.16 know how that happened. I&;m very
0.16 interested. Yeah, I&;m very interested,
0.16 too. I&;m gonna I&;m gonna have to Yeah,
0.16 find it. Find it. Find it. Yeah. Yeah.
0.16 You can find everything in New York at
0.16 that point. You know what else is an
0.16 illegal pet? What?
0.16 A It&;s a federally illegal pet. You
0.16 can&;t own it in any
0.16 state. A
0.16 crow. No way. I&;ve seen [ __ ] like with
0.16 [ __ ] if they can
0.16 like that&;s just my friend. Can he be my
0.16 service animal? Certainly not. Oh, cuz
0.16 they&;re murderous. No, because they&;re
0.16 very good at servicing. Pause.
0.16 So, please don&;t service yourself with a
0.16 crow cuz that&;s Wow. But wouldn&;t that
0.16 So, a
0.16 crow is about as intelligent as a
0.16 sevenyear-old child, which is pretty
0.16 intelligent. Yeah. Like, you know, I can
0.16 tell a seven-year-old, yo, go get me
0.16 this or go do that. Go stab this guy.
0.16 Yeah, probably. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. You
0.16 know what I mean? So,
0.16 um, in prison, some people would
0.16 domesticate crows. You know how they
0.16 sometimes they get pigeons and [ __ ]
0.16 Yeah. They would do that with crows and
0.16 crows would go out and find them sharp
0.16 objects and bring them
0.16 back in return for Yeah. But you how
0.16 could you determine whether a crow will
0.16 or will not land in this prisoner&;s
0.16 window or like Right. You can&;t. I mean,
0.16 well, you can if you observe. Yeah, but
0.16 you&;re going to watch every prisoner
0.16 like No, but I mean like if you see a
0.16 prisoner like, you know, talking to a
0.16 window like you petting a [ __ ] crow,
0.16 you&;re going to be like, "Hey, hey, hey,
0.16 can&;t have that. It&;s illegal." But
0.16 yeah, the idea is like if you had like a
0.16 murder of crows, like you can you&;d be
0.16 unstoppable. You can train them to do
0.16 various things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
0.16 I I mean I guess I&;m trying to think how
0.16 many crows have I seen in You&;ve seen a
0.16 lot. I I&;ve I&;ve definitely heard I&;ve
0.16 definitely heard them.
0.16 Yeah. They&;re doing their thing. Now I
0.16 want a crow. I know they can mimic human
0.16 speech. Yeah. Yeah. And they do it like
0.16 very good. Like Yeah. They mimic a lot
0.16 of sounds very good. Yeah. It&;s like
0.16 almost identical. Yeah. They can make
0.16 car noises. They&;re the the Michael
0.16 Winsel of birds. Yeah, that [ __ ] from
0.16 [ __ ] um what&;s that cop? Police
0.16 Academy. Police Academy. Yeah, they are.
0.16 I couldn&;t even do an impressive. He
0.16 just makes the weirdest noises.
0.16 But yeah, isn&;t that crazy?
0.16 Yeah. Kazoo kid.
0.16 Love. I got to love Kazoo Kid. Love that
0.16 kid. Yeah. What? How do you say it? I
0.16 always wondered like how did they
0.16 train pigeons to know where they&;re
0.16 going? Like how how did they do that?
0.16 Like I don&;t know, right? Like I can&;t
0.16 just be like, "Hey, here&;s a letter. Fly
0.16 this to Scotland and the pigeon will
0.16 know like where to go." Like how how did
0.16 they do that? Oh yeah, cuz it&;s far.
0.16 It&;s like how did Yeah. How did you
0.16 track it from there to there? How does
0.16 it know who to bring it? Like Right.
0.16 Isn&;t that Isn&;t that interesting? Mike
0.16 Tyson would know. My pigeon. They love
0.16 me. Yo, he was gripping that pig. Yeah,
0.16 that poor pigeon was like, "Let me the
0.16 fuck." Yo, when he when he opened the
0.16 coupe, they all moved to the other side.
0.16 I was like, "Oh, they&;re scared of him."
0.16 And he was like, "Come here, my baby."
0.16 Yeah. They just play like this, you
0.16 know? They&;re like, "Help, help." That&;s
0.16 [ __ ] up. Yeah.
0.16 Like, what is he doing to these pigeons?
0.16 Yeah. Right. But you know, he loves
0.16 pigeons more than people. He does. Yeah.
0.16 That&;s scary. Well, he&;s he&;s an
0.16 interesting individual. And most people
0.16 are interesting individuals. And I mean,
0.16 that&;s my point. Not like Mike Tyson.
0.16 People are [ __ ] weird, man. Yeah,
0.16 people are weird. But uh not Mike Tyson
0.16 weird.
0.16 Animals are weird. People who love
0.16 animals are weird. I want a sugar
0.16 glider. You seen those things? The
0.16 little [ __ ] um They&;re like this
0.16 small. Yeah. And they [ __ ] just and
0.16 they and then they they glide low. It&;s
0.16 so funny. Yo, your obsession with
0.16 animals being I love animals. I think
0.16 they&;re funny. It&;s hilarious. I think
0.16 they&;re funny, yo. I think they&;re
0.16 hilarious. I want to I want to You ever
0.16 Sometime I just be watching videos like
0.16 very effective against you. Well, yeah.
0.16 Yeah. Yeah. I know. They just need to
0.16 exist and I&;m dead. Yeah. You&;re just
0.16 like, "Let me try out a new one." Yeah.
0.16 No amount of Claridin or Zerek or or
0.16 [ __ ] Benadryil. You put you put
0.16 animals over your own health. Yeah. No,
0.16 it&;s moronic. No, I wouldn&;t say I put
0.16 them over my own health. I&;m just saying
0.16 like that&;s exactly what you&;re saying.
0.16 No, it&;s just that animals make you
0.16 sick, Henry.
0.16 Technically, yes. Do you still want
0.16 them?
0.16 Yes. They&;re fun. You put them over your
0.16 health. What you
0.16 But they&;re fine. Like, bro, you you
0.16 never you never owned a dog or owned a a
0.16 cat or owned any kind of animal. I&;ve
0.16 never owned but I like technically had a
0.16 dog. He was cool. I liked him.
0.16 Okay, then. So, I got rid of him just as
0.16 fast. That&;s [ __ ] up. Why&;d you get
0.16 rid of him? What did he do to you? He&;s
0.16 a He&;s a pain. He&;s a responsibility
0.16 that I don&;t need. So, who got the dog?
0.16 Who knows? Oh, wow. That&;s crazy.
0.16 Damn. Okay. The streets, that [ __ ] will
0.16 survive,
0.16 bro. I guess if pigeons can survive. If
0.16 a pigeon can survive, a [ __ ]
0.16 domesticated dog or cat can survive. I
0.16 guess I&;m afraid that I want to let You
0.16 ever see You ever see them um like
0.16 there&;s a there&;s like videos like of of
0.16 street cats with like cameras on them?
0.16 Oh, yeah. Those are I love those. I love
0.16 those. I was watching one today. What&;s
0.16 going on? I was watching one today where
0.16 his cat was like, "Yo, he he got
0.16 surrounded by like a bunch of dogs."
0.16 [ __ ] was like, "Yo." And they they was
0.16 like, "Yo, what&;s up?" Like, and they
0.16 was like, he [ __ ] pilted on him.
0.16 Yeah, he did. And then he ran under a
0.16 car. And then you see like cuz it&;s just
0.16 around in the car. Yeah. Cuz it was just
0.16 one dog. And then it was like And then
0.16 it was like four. Yeah. And he was like,
0.16 "Oh shit." And you see him like looking
0.16 around for his like escape route and he
0.16 found it. Yeah. And then and then [ __ ]
0.16 would chill for a little bit and then
0.16 you see him come out and he looking
0.16 around and he and Yeah. He was like,
0.16 "Oh, they gone. I&;m out." Yeah. Like
0.16 they like they good, bro. They figure it
0.16 out. No, they be living their own cat
0.16 life and [ __ ] Yeah. [ __ ] want to
0.16 [ __ ] like take care of these animals
0.16 for your for their whole life. Like
0.16 Yeah. But they also don&;t mind being
0.16 taken care of. No one minds being taken
0.16 care of. Yeah. They love that
0.16 [ __ ] I told you about my neighbor&;s
0.16 cat. [ __ ] that cat. He&;s such a nice
0.16 cat. We had a whole fuss. What are we
0.16 going to do? The same thing you was
0.16 doing before you saw it. Cuz I ain&;t
0.16 want to leave him out there. Yeah, it
0.16 was going to be out there regardless.
0.16 Nah, not if I if I held him until she
0.16 got home. None your [ __ ] business,
0.16 [ __ ] Now he just like steadily tries
0.16 to come in my apartment. But if you What
0.16 if you saw a little kid standing outside
0.16 the door? I&;d be like, "Yo, where are
0.16 your parents?" No, you wouldn&;t. I bet
0.16 you would walk right past them. Nah,
0.16 nah, nah, nah, nah. If you see if it
0.16 depends on the circumstances. You just
0.16 saw a kid standing outside. If it&;s like
0.16 if I saw a kid that cat was sitting
0.16 outside the door mind. That cat did not
0.16 say, "Hey, hey, can you help me? Can&;t
0.16 get in." You just But you needed to help
0.16 the cat. If you saw
0.16 a child standing outside, shut the [ __ ]
0.16 up. Oh my god. You saw a child standing
0.16 outside the door, wasn&;t saying anything
0.16 to you, just standing outside the door,
0.16 minding his own business. Okay. Are you
0.16 going to say something to that child? I
0.16 want you to be completely honest with
0.16 yourself. Okay, I&;m going to change the
0.16 circumstances because the cat was not
0.16 just sitting there. The cat was clawing
0.16 at the door. So, clearly the cat wanted
0.16 to go in. Little boy knocking on the
0.16 door. Right. If I saw a little boy
0.16 knocking on the door, I&;m not going to
0.16 interrupt because no one is even I
0.16 haven&;t even given the person a chance
0.16 to answer the door. You didn&;t give the
0.16 person to answer the door for the cat.
0.16 The cat is clearly clawing at the door
0.16 and no one&;s going to hear it. No one&;s
0.16 going to hear the cat. This is a front
0.16 door, not like your bedroom door. This
0.16 is a front door made of entire metal, no
0.16 one&;s going to hear that cat clawing at
0.16 that door. So, you&;re not going to help
0.16 a kid? No.
0.16 Okay. If I If I&;m there long enough,
0.16 which I doubt I will be, like I&;m not
0.16 going to if no one answers the door
0.16 after a while. Assume that you can
0.16 kidnap. Then I&;ll be like, "Hey, are you
0.16 looking for someone? Like, what are you
0.16 doing out here?" But you assume you can
0.16 kidnap a cat. I didn&;t kidnap the cat.
0.16 You wanted to. You didn&;t. But you
0.16 wanted to. There&;s a lot of cats I want
0.16 to kidnap. That&;s not That&;s irrelevant.
0.16 That&;s That&;s quite relevant. No, it&;s
0.16 not. It&;s not. What do you mean? It&;s
0.16 not. How? I like animals. Paris. Jesus.
0.16 You want to create an army of retards? I
0.16 want to create an army of [ __ ] cats.
0.16 You can. I will. There&;s nothing
0.16 stopping you. There&;s laws against it.
0.16 There&;s no laws against [ __ ] armies.
0.16 No, they&;re not. No, they&;re not. Find
0.16 it. Find one. Find it and show it to me.
0.16 I like I need like tax codes and [ __ ]
0.16 right now. Find find it to me. Find it.
0.16 Find it. Find it. Yeah. Find it, please.
0.16 Laws against creating an army of
0.16 retards. I want you to put it in that
0.16 exactly like that. So, technically, I&;ll
0.16 be starting a militia. I&;m pretty sure
0.16 there are rules to starting a militia.
0.16 And I don&;t We&;re getting into
0.16 semantics. Huh? Did I say I want to arm
0.16 a [ __ ] No. I want to children. No,
0.16 you said retards. Yeah. You Yeah. You
0.16 said [ __ ] You said it multiple times
0.16 actually. Yeah. Yeah. What I plan on
0.16 doing though.
0.16 You tell me. I don&;t know. I know what
0.16 I&;m You have some sort of agenda. I know
0.16 what I&;m going to do with an army of
0.16 children. What?
0.16 Okay. Okay. I&;m going to train them.
0.16 Can we get back to the master beton? No,
0.16 I really don&;t want to. No, I really
0.16 want to know how this ends. So
0.16 um London hosted Europe&;s first so this
0.16 actually spread across the country.
0.16 London hosted Europe&;s first
0.16 masturbatorathon in 2006. It aims to
0.16 remove the taboo and shame associated
0.16 with masturbation. Obviously hund
0.16 hundreds of persons raised money for the
0.16 charity Terrence a charitable
0.16 organization Terrence Higgins Trust. I
0.16 don&;t know if I want to look that up.
0.16 and the sexual and reproductive health
0.16 agency Marie Stoopes
0.16 International. The masturbator, also
0.16 called Wankathon, so so European was
0.16 recorded by they recorded it by ZigZag
0.16 Productions of London as part of an
0.16 international documentary of the event.
0.16 However, plans to broadcast this as part
0.16 of its Wank Week series were
0.16 abandoned. I can imagine why. But they
0.16 can but but Japan can broadcast a man
0.16 losing his mind in a in a small room.
0.16 Yeah, they can. In 2009,
0.16 Masanobu Sato won the masturbate held by
0.16 the Center of Sex and Culture in San
0.16 Francisco after masturbating for 9 hours
0.16 and 35 minutes. Ouch.
0.16 Nine. That&;s a work day, my [ __ ]
0.16 Plus overtime.
0.16 Ow. Can you imagine the whole entire day
0.16 you spent at work? You were jerking it
0.16 that whole time. Shaping your dick up.
0.16 Just Yeah. Just I&;m talking rug all
0.16 kinds of rug burn. Just all like Yeah.
0.16 Yeah. I hate No, you need a lot of
0.16 lube. You need a lot. Yo,
0.16 man. When do you start feeling
0.16 disgusted? Now my question
0.16 is does it count if he like starts and
0.16 then stops for a little and then like
0.16 you got to take a break. Yeah. Like how
0.16 does that work? Cuz I know your arm
0.16 going to get tired after a while. Like
0.16 how how do you switch? Like how does
0.16 that work? I need to know the the
0.16 stipulations. What are the rules for
0.16 this? Can I stop and continue or does it
0.16 stop when I nut?
0.16 It took you nine hours to nut. Nine
0.16 hours and 35 minutes. Kudos to you. I
0.16 don&;t think you&;re doing it right.
0.16 He&;s the masturbation champion, bro.
0.16 Yeah, you&;re But you&;re not doing it
0.16 efficiently.
0.16 Yeah. So, like like I said, the the
0.16 Wikipedia page says 9 hours and 35
0.16 minutes, but this page on Reddit says 9
0.16 hours and 33 minutes. I&;m gonna go Wiki.
0.16 And and he&;s even talked to the press
0.16 about his handy awardwinning techniques.
0.16 He&;s got techniques. He&;s got a whole a
0.16 whole how to do it right book.
0.16 What is it? Uh, masturbation for
0.16 dummies. That&;s what he&;s got. Yeah.
0.16 Yeah. Yeah. His girlfriend doesn&;t like
0.16 sex, but supports him in his ambitions.
0.16 Girlfriend doesn&;t like sex. Maybe just
0.16 not with him. In 2009, he beat, and they
0.16 put beat in quotes. I love that. That&;s
0.16 hilarious. He beat his own record,
0.16 extending it to 9 hours and 58
0.16 minutes. What? So now that has me
0.16 wondering like how how long are you
0.16 jerking off like on a regular?
0.16 Like is this like a thing where you&;re
0.16 like, "All right, honey. Nobody bother
0.16 me for the whole day. I&;m going to jerk
0.16 off." Like you have to make an
0.16 announcement because you need a whole
0.16 day to get a nut. I&;m not really
0.16 understanding it. And I&;m not either. I
0.16 don&;t want to.
0.16 I don&;t I really don&;t want to.
0.16 So Oh [ __ ]
0.16 So he has strong sponsorships with
0.16 Tango, a Japanese company that makes
0.16 crazy futuristic masturbatory tools. So
0.16 he&;s got sponsorships, [ __ ]
0.16 He&;s a masturbating athlete. I&;ve never
0.16 is an athlete at this point. I never
0.16 quite understood. He&;s getting
0.16 sponsored, bro. Sexual deviants. KY
0.16 Jelly might sponsor
0.16 him. Trojan might sponsor him. Yo,
0.16 there&;s money in this, man. I mean,
0.16 kudos. You know how your parents say
0.16 video games won&;t uh make you money?
0.16 Neither will basketball. Mom, I found
0.16 something better. That&;s crazy.
0.16 So, Sato is also suspected to be the man
0.16 behind the pen name Turbo
0.16 Masterbo who wrote the book How to
0.16 Masturbate Properly, which contains 100
0.16 masturbation
0.16 commandments.
0.16 Commandments. Thou shalt never dry
0.16 masturbate. I&;m not I&;m not I&;m not
0.16 really feeling, dude. I&;m not like I
0.16 can&;t get behind it. I want to know
0.16 these commandments more for
0.16 masturbation. Find me these
0.16 commandments. I want to know these I
0.16 want to know these commandments. Crazy.
0.16 Well, it&;s a whole event, [ __ ] It&;s
0.16 not just him. Like he just he just good
0.16 at it. Yeah, he&;s just good at it, bro.
0.16 Like they like he didn&;t make the event.
0.16 But like see and he&;s making money off
0.16 it. Like what can you knock it for that?
0.16 What is good at it? That that that I
0.16 could I could do that for nine hours
0.16 straight. Well, why would I want
0.16 to? It&;s for
0.16 charity. That&;s what they&;re doing it
0.16 for. Who&;s charity helping? Uh uh people
0.16 with sexual uh problems. People without
0.16 hands who can&;t masturbate. That
0.16 they find a way. I was about to say,
0.16 damn, they find a way. Dogs can&;t
0.16 masturbate. They hump. How&;s a [ __ ]
0.16 with no hands supposed to?
0.16 They hump things.
0.16 Oh, that&;s depressing. Women hump
0.16 things. It&;s not the
0.16 same. It&;s not the
0.16 same. Even if I got like one of those
0.16 masturbation toys, like, how am I
0.16 supposed to put it on? I don&;t got no
0.16 hands. You just find a nice little I got
0.16 I got They just find a nice little
0.16 crevice and like a cushion like Yeah.
0.16 Yeah. That&;s the one. You know, they&;re
0.16 like, "Why your couch got all these
0.16 crusty marks on it?"
0.16 Huh? Yeah. Yeah.
0.16 Just humping [ __ ] Just a a fold of
0.16 laundry. Just
0.16 [ __ ] looking real good. Yeah.
0.16 Is that
0.16 Downey? You smell good,
0.16 man. Yeah. [ __ ] wild. Oh, this is
0.16 another video I wanted to show you cuz I
0.16 thought this [ __ ] was [ __ ] wild, son.
0.16 And I never thought about this. It got
0.16 me thinking also about just names in
0.16 general because you know they say like I
0.16 looked this up earlier and it said
0.16 people didn&;t have like actual surnames
0.16 and like last names until like the 11th
0.16 century. So I was just John. I I guess
0.16 you could just call yourself whatever
0.16 you want
0.16 like right and then you know that&;s how
0.16 a lot of our last names came to be
0.16 because of like people named themselves
0.16 Johnson. Yeah. Based off of their like
0.16 occupation or like things like that or
0.16 so that&;s where like Baker came from or
0.16 Yeah. things like that. Yeah. Smith.
0.16 Yeah. But this one is telling the story
0.16 of people whose real name is James
0.16 Bond. And we talking white people, black
0.16 people, like and they all have the same
0.16 experience. But these are people who are
0.16 named James Bond who have had run-ins
0.16 with the police.
0.16 Okay?
0.16 Just keep that in mind. Okay?
0.16 your name is James Bond and you have
0.16 encounters with the police. It&;s a good
0.16 idea to have your ID with you. So he&;s
0.16 flashing light on my face and he he goes
0.16 you. And I&;m like yes sir. He&;s like
0.16 what&;s your name? Tell me your name.
0.16 When they got to me I&;m like [ __ ] Oh
0.16 [ __ ] I&;m about to die. Um so I tell him
0.16 James and he says uh do you got a last
0.16 name there James? And I said Bond. James
0.16 Bond. James Bond. My name James Bond. my
0.16 name and they&;ll just think I&;m a cocky
0.16 little teenager. Uh give giving him some
0.16 flack. And so he reached through the
0.16 window of the car and grabbed me by my
0.16 shirt and said, "You [ __ ] with the
0.16 wrong guy on the wrong day." And
0.16 proceeded to pull me through the window
0.16 of the car. He looked at me like, "I&;m
0.16 going to give you one more chance to
0.16 tell me the truth." I&;m telling the guy,
0.16 "Please, please." I&;mma give you one
0.16 more chance to tell me the truth. Yo, my
0.16 name What&;s her name? Yeah, but I I can
0.16 see this pompous situation because these
0.16 are how this is how the cops in New York
0.16 act. Like you tell them one thing and
0.16 then they just they got a [ __ ]
0.16 attitude and they just like like oh you
0.16 being smart with me, boy, [ __ ] Like
0.16 come on, bro. I don&;t even want to talk.
0.16 Right. Yeah. I don&;t even want to be in
0.16 this situation. Like leave me alone.
0.16 Right. Please, please. My name really is
0.16 James Bond. My name is James Bond. Man,
0.16 my name James Bond. That right there was
0.16 enough to get the guy to draw down on me
0.16 up from the holster and right in my
0.16 face. And he&;s like, "You&;re right. And
0.16 I&;m Donald Duck. Get on the ground. Get
0.16 on the ground." He sort of calmed down,
0.16 had me stand at the back of the car,
0.16 went back to his car, ran my driver&;s
0.16 license, came back and said, "That&;s a
0.16 cool name, son." And uh went ahead and
0.16 let me go. I did get convicted of that.
0.16 See, now that you heard he got let go.
0.16 Nah, nah, nah. But, but ain&;t no way you
0.16 going to You draw your weapon on me.
0.16 Yeah. And And then run my license. Yeah.
0.16 We got a civil suit, brother. Then run
0.16 my license. My ass and be like, "Cool.
0.16 Cool name, son." Like, what? Yeah.
0.16 You&;re going to be talking with my
0.16 lawyer, dog. Like, yo, you five seconds
0.16 ago you just had your gun in my face
0.16 talking about I&;m Donald [ __ ] Duck.
0.16 What? Cool name,
0.16 [ __ ] I was I was real with you from
0.16 the beginning. The [ __ ]
0.16 Do you believe that? I did get convicted
0.16 of that because the judge said that I
0.16 was obstructing the police officer from
0.16 doing his job by me saying my name in a
0.16 jokingly manner.
0.16 I looked at the judge like, "Are you
0.16 serious? How can I say, you know, James
0.16 Bond in a jokingly manner?" You know, I
0.16 just said my name and yeah, I had to do
0.16 like 60 days in county jail for that.
0.16 son. 60 days, bro. Two months he did in
0.16 jail for that. Saying one dude, one
0.16 dude, cool name. Other dude 60 days of
0.16 jail, right? Difference between two
0.16 people. You tell me. Right. That&;s
0.16 crazy,
0.16 ain&;t it? Crazy.
0.16 60 days. 60
0.16 days. That right there at that instance
0.16 made me look at them at a different way
0.16 because I knew that I had a long way to
0.16 go with them. You know what I mean? By
0.16 my name being James Bond and I&;m black.
0.16 Also, your parents monumentally [ __ ]
0.16 up. If you don&;t put some [ __ ]
0.16 money on, it&;s your fault. N I I
0.16 honestly because Bond is not like an
0.16 uncommon last name. Yeah, I knew someone
0.16 I went to elementary school, her last
0.16 name was Bond. Like, it&;s not an
0.16 uncommon name. And James is a very
0.16 common first name. So, it&;s very logical
0.16 to think, you know, there might actually
0.16 be a few James out there. Yeah. Like, I
0.16 know it&;s a popular movie character, but
0.16 it&;s also a common name. Yeah. And the
0.16 fact that like you&;re automatically
0.16 thinking like I&;mma shoot this [ __ ] cuz
0.16 he like like you gave me a wrong name.
0.16 That&;s why would why would I just tell
0.16 you my name is James Bond just what for
0.16 for fun? Like why would I do that?
0.16 I can think of a million fake names and
0.16 that&;s the one I chose. 007 right? You
0.16 think I&;m [ __ ] with you? No, [ __ ]
0.16 This is my name. The [ __ ] I mean, but
0.16 you know, there are people out there who
0.16 will [ __ ] with the cops, but that
0.16 still&;s no reason to escalate any
0.16 situation.
0.16 The fact that almost all these cops had
0.16 the same reaction is what&;s blowing my
0.16 mind. You think I&;m [ __ ] right? Like,
0.16 what? No, [ __ ] I just You asked me
0.16 what my name is. I gave you ID with my
0.16 name on it. I mean, that&;s like, you
0.16 know, funny. No, [ __ ] It&;s not. You
0.16 just use but even that reaction is far
0.16 better than that. Right. Right. You know
0.16 what I mean? Like if you were like,
0.16 "Yeah, h stop [ __ ] with me." But
0.16 actually, I&;m not [ __ ] with you. But
0.16 to totally, you know, escalate the
0.16 situation. Here&;s the Whoa, whoa, whoa.
0.16 Like, this [ __ ] had to go to jail 60
0.16 days, bro. Now, if it Now, I imagine
0.16 this man has a job. Do you know what
0.16 happens? Like, he&;s getting fired, bro.
0.16 Yeah, for sure. Because you can&;t call
0.16 nobody. Like you can&;t like you can&;t be
0.16 like, "Hey guys, uh I&;m not coming to
0.16 work for the next uh 60 days." 16 days.
0.16 Why, James? Oh, I got locked up because
0.16 a cop thought I was joking with him when
0.16 I told him my name was James Bond. Yeah,
0.16 these are these are clearly civil suits
0.16 that need to be filed. Bro,
0.16 also I think parents should be way more
0.16 aware of sometimes people they just
0.16 think it&;s a cool name. Some cool [ __ ]
0.16 I had a kid in my elementary school. His
0.16 name was Edward Edwards.
0.16 I could have did better than that. Come
0.16 on, man. Come on, man. Ed and Ed.
0.16 Edward Edwards.
0.16 That&;s a silly name. The only thing
0.16 that&;s separating your last name and
0.16 first name is one letter. It&;s a silly
0.16 name. I I just feel like sometimes
0.16 parents need to be more conscious of
0.16 like James James. What we name our kids?
0.16 Jimmy James. What we nameing our kids
0.16 cuz this is this is getting out of hand.
0.16 Matter of fact, I want to see a list of
0.16 crazy 2025 names cuz it&;s only
0.16 March and I know they got to have some
0.16 [ __ ] We&;re in a new generation. Gen Z
0.16 is also like I know there&;s a lot of
0.16 Daenerys out there. Khesi. Kesi. Yeah.
0.16 Yeah. Yeah. Not Daenerys. Kesi. Crazy
0.16 names.
0.16 2025. Let&;s see.
0.16 Arrow. That&;s not that bad. That&;s is
0.16 What is it? Arrow like Ae R O like in
0.16 Marvel Snap.
0.16 Why? Uh well, it&;s Greek fur of the sky.
0.16 You know, everything has to have a
0.16 meaning now. I think that&;s silly. Uh
0.16 these are
0.16 unusual. Should I say trendy?
0.16 No, trendy is too common. Really? Huh?
0.16 That first one. Kai. Yeah, these are
0.16 these are trendy names for 2025. Amelia.
0.16 Maya. I like Maya. Liam. I feel like
0.16 Liam is coming back. I always thought
0.16 Liam was just short for William.
0.16 Oh, I thought it was a name on its own.
0.16 I thought Liam was a nickname for
0.16 William. I That&;s what I thought. I I
0.16 don&;t know anything about names, [ __ ]
0.16 I like Liam as a name. I like that name.
0.16 I think it&;s cool. Liam Bees. Let&;s see.
0.16 Unusual baby
0.16 names. I like the unusual better than
0.16 the usual.
0.16 Ghetto&;s crazy. No, we&;re not
0.16 good. Ari is not unusual. I feel like
0.16 that&;s normal. Alaska, on the other
0.16 hand,
0.16 absolutely. Ashlin,
0.16 Ashid sounds like a old
0.16 woman. Bear, just bear. I&;ve That&;s
0.16 what&;s become common amongst these white
0.16 Someone named Bear. Yeah. I&;ve never
0.16 heard of that. I have. Really? Holy
0.16 [ __ ] Uh, Becket. I&;ve heard of
0.16 Beckett. Uh, Birdie.
0.16 No. Bodie.
0.16 Bod. Yeah. Cadence.
0.16 Cammy. Binley. Cadence is [ __ ]
0.16 Brin and Brinley is
0.16 not Bridley. I mean, I can I could I
0.16 could get with that cadence. I just hate
0.16 No, that sounds gross. Brinley names are
0.16 like
0.16 verbs
0.16 like Oh, this one.
0.16 Case Caspian. I kind of like that.
0.16 You ever watch Pantheon?
0.16 No. No. What is that? Oh [ __ ] I got to
0.16 put you on. It&;s a I&;m honestly at a
0.16 loss for shows to watch. It&;s lit. Nah,
0.16 I know. I&;m cycling between Abbott
0.16 Elementary,
0.16 Daredevil, Invincible,
0.16 um, and, uh, uh, Common Side Effects.
0.16 Common Side Effects is my new favorite
0.16 show. Yo, I binged the whole [ __ ]
0.16 Yeah, I binged that [ __ ] I was like,
0.16 nah. Yeah. [ __ ] was like, "Yo, what if
0.16 you had a mushroom that like, yo, the
0.16 [ __ ] got stabbed in the [ __ ] thing.
0.16 He ate the mushroom and just [ __ ]
0.16 healed." Like, I was like, "Oh, that&;s
0.16 kind of fire." But I like where they&;re
0.16 at now in the season and they&;re like,
0.16 "What are the side effects?" Yeah, cuz
0.16 they&;re And they keep seeing they keep
0.16 seeing that little um little Mexico.
0.16 Yeah, they Yeah, they keep they keep
0.16 seeing him and they&;re like they all
0.16 have that that same trippy experience.
0.16 But it&;s like, yo, no, it&;s a good show.
0.16 Yo, look at a little Mexico. But
0.16 Pantheon is is like it&;s an animated
0.16 show. Actually, it came out on on AMC.
0.16 You probably saw clips for on Instagram
0.16 cuz people were posting about it about
0.16 the scene where he was fighting homie
0.16 and they were like, "Yo, what anime is
0.16 this?" like um but it&;s basically it&;s
0.16 like upload. It&;s basically upload. What
0.16 was the fight? Uh the the one of the
0.16 people were fighting in this like
0.16 uploaded consciousness. So it was
0.16 basically like they&;re fighting in a
0.16 computer world where they can do
0.16 anything. So that&;s why it looked crazy.
0.16 Oh, it look like Steve Jobs. Yes. Yes.
0.16 That that&;s from Pantheon. Oh. Yeah. So,
0.16 I thought that was like some fan-made
0.16 [ __ ] cuz No, it&;s an animated show that
0.16 comes on AMC called Pantheon. I&;ll check
0.16 it out. I&;ll check it out.
0.16 So, it was like this company was like uh
0.16 what they did was they had this guy who
0.16 was like the Steve Jobs of of the world.
0.16 He created this this company and it was
0.16 like some artificial intelligence
0.16 company and he was like this renowned
0.16 scientist. He was smart as [ __ ] He He
0.16 you know he was innovative. He did all
0.16 these things. So what they did was they
0.16 cloned him and they raised him. They
0.16 raised his clone in the same environment
0.16 that he was raised in the hopes that he
0.16 would come out just like him. So like he
0.16 had he had an abusive childhood. So they
0.16 hired agents to like purposely abuse
0.16 him. Yeah, he they had these people act
0.16 as his parents. And the the crazy thing
0.16 is like the guy who was playing his
0.16 father, he wasn&;t like that. Like he was
0.16 like like he felt bad. Like he was like,
0.16 I know I have to do this for the greater
0.16 good, but
0.16 like I like I actually care about the
0.16 kid. I raised him. On the other hand,
0.16 the mother was acting like the [ __ ] She
0.16 Yeah, she was acting like the loving
0.16 figure, but behind closed doors, she
0.16 ain&;t give a [ __ ] So it was like the
0.16 roles were reversed like and he didn&;t
0.16 see that he hated the [ __ ] because the
0.16 [ __ ] was acting like an abusive father
0.16 and he really loved the mom and he
0.16 really Yeah. But he didn&;t know that the
0.16 guy actually really cared for him and
0.16 really loved him like cuz they raised
0.16 him. They raised him since he was a
0.16 baby. He was formed in a lab and they
0.16 raised him as his quote unquote parents.
0.16 So the kid is smart as [ __ ] Yeah. And
0.16 they tell you two different stories. So
0.16 it&;s his story. He&;s bright as a clone.
0.16 He&;s bright as a clone. Yeah. But he
0.16 doesn&;t know that. Okay. So there&;s two
0.16 different stories. His story that that&;s
0.16 going on and then there&;s this girl and
0.16 her father cuz the company is called
0.16 Logarithms. Her father works for
0.16 Logarithms. And her father, he was like
0.16 heavily involved in that upload uh uh
0.16 thing that they were developing. Yeah.
0.16 She didn&;t know that obviously and uh
0.16 her father died. I think he died in like
0.16 a car accident or something. Some [ __ ]
0.16 happened to him and uh she didn&;t know
0.16 but they they the company uploaded her
0.16 father&;s consciousness cuz they were
0.16 like he&;s important to the company and
0.16 we need him. Yeah. Because they didn&;t
0.16 know but they&;ve uploaded people before
0.16 previously. But what they found is that
0.16 uh just like our brains rot over time,
0.16 your upload rots over time. And what
0.16 they could not figure out was how to
0.16 stop that from happening. Okay? So they
0.16 needed him to figure that out. To they
0.16 needed Steve Jobs to figure that out cuz
0.16 they was like this guy was the pioneer
0.16 behind all this [ __ ] If anybody could
0.16 figure it out, it&;s him. So they breeded
0.16 this clone specifically to figure this
0.16 [ __ ] out. He&;s dead, huh? No, the
0.16 original guy. Yeah, he&;s dead. He died,
0.16 but his consciousness is uploaded. His
0.16 consciousness as well as like other
0.16 people. Like they&;ve done it to other
0.16 people. Yeah. But the problem is they
0.16 didn&;t find a way to do it
0.16 postmortem. So they upload your
0.16 conscious while you&;re alive. And [ __ ]
0.16 be like the the crazy thing is there was
0.16 a company in India that was copying them
0.16 and they kidnapped this dude that was a
0.16 part of their company and like uploaded
0.16 him and they recorded it and like while
0.16 he&;s being uploaded you see the [ __ ]
0.16 like scanning his brain and doing [ __ ]
0.16 to his brain and he&;s like ah help
0.16 help macaroni dog uh [ __ ] uh [ __ ] his
0.16 brain up. Yeah. like it&;s like doing and
0.16 I was like oh that&;s [ __ ] crazy and
0.16 and like you see his brain he&;s like uh
0.16 um
0.16 uh help the like you see yo it was wild
0.16 it was a wild scene I was like that&;s
0.16 that&;s also kind of cringey but um
0.16 that&;s creepy yeah so they created and
0.16 the the Steve Jobs clone the the kid his
0.16 name is Caspian so uh that&;s why I was
0.16 like oh Caspian I thought of it when I
0.16 saw
0.16 But
0.16 um the show gets crazier, but she ends
0.16 up getting uh the girl ends up getting
0.16 uh uh uh like a chat message from like a
0.16 stranger. It&;s her dad. Yeah. But and
0.16 then he starts like eventually but he
0.16 only talks in
0.16 emojis because what they found was when
0.16 you first like upload them, they don&;t
0.16 know what they are.
0.16 So they figured by giving him his
0.16 emotions and his memories, it might
0.16 trigger some [ __ ] that would like help
0.16 him
0.16 get back to normal and be able to help
0.16 him figure this [ __ ] out, right? So they
0.16 g when they gave him his emotions and
0.16 his memories, he remembered his
0.16 daughter, so he reached out to her, but
0.16 he wasn&;t fully himself, so he could
0.16 only talk in emojis. So she had to like
0.16 decipher it. She was like, "What the
0.16 fuck?" Like, and then then the mom found
0.16 out. And then it it was like a whole
0.16 thing, bro. But it gets even crazier.
0.16 There&;s a second season where the whole
0.16 entire world got rid of the internet
0.16 because they realize how dangerous these
0.16 uploads are. Cuz these [ __ ] can access
0.16 anything. They&;re like Jarvis, [ __ ]
0.16 They can [ __ ] hack the the uh [ __ ]
0.16 CSI if they wanted to. They can [ __ ]
0.16 like uh they can do anything. Yeah. The
0.16 CIA. CIA. Yeah. They could do anything.
0.16 They could literally do anything. So
0.16 people got scared. So they were like,
0.16 "Nigga, we need no electricity, no
0.16 internet, no [ __ ] nothing. Nothing
0.16 tied to We went back to the Stone Age.
0.16 That&;s funny. Yeah, it gets [ __ ]
0.16 wild. Watch it. It&;s an interesting
0.16 watch." No, I&;ll check it out. I&;ll
0.16 check it out. I like the new uh dramatic
0.16 animated shows. I think I think that
0.16 they were um they were green. What do
0.16 you mean dramatic animated shows like
0.16 Pantheon and Oh uh what&;s the other one?
0.16 Um
0.16 common side effects. Oh yeah, I think
0.16 these I think a lot of these shows were
0.16 green lit during co
0.16 common side effects definitely. Yeah, I
0.16 think they were green lit during COVID
0.16 like when they couldn&;t have people in
0.16 the studios with each other, right? And
0.16 and this is what came about. Yeah. Yeah.
0.16 And I&;m here for it. I like it. No.
0.16 Comment side effects. I honestly I
0.16 didn&;t know in that scene in the in the
0.16 trailer where they showed the two agents
0.16 dancing. I didn&;t know that was a woman.
0.16 I thought that the way they Yeah. The
0.16 way they the animation is kind of weird.
0.16 It is. I like it though. I think she&;s
0.16 hilarious. I No, she is cuz she&;s like
0.16 April. She&;s very monotone and like Oh,
0.16 really? Oh.
0.16 She pissed me off over in the last
0.16 episode.
0.16 I&;m trying to remember what happened in
0.16 the last episode. The dude was like,
0.16 "Yo," her old partner was like, "Yo,
0.16 this is a conspiracy." And she goes,
0.16 "Yeah, let&;s just bring it back to the
0.16 uh government." I think I might be. He&;s
0.16 like, "Nah, we like that&;s the
0.16 conspiracy. What do you mean?" Oh, the
0.16 black guy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Cuz he found
0.16 he finds out like the person that they
0.16 were working for actually works with the
0.16 that Russian dude. Yeah. And
0.16 um he&;s like there&;s something up like
0.16 big farmer&;s involved with this guy.
0.16 They&;re saying he&;s this but we&;ve been
0.16 watching him all this time. He hasn&;t
0.16 done nothing crazy.
0.16 Oh, I think I did see that cuz he was
0.16 like, I don&;t understand why they want
0.16 us to watch him because he looks like a
0.16 normal guy. Like Yeah. Yeah. That was
0.16 the beginning. Yeah. This is a few
0.16 episodes later.
0.16 He he starts looking into it and he
0.16 finds like her hanging out with like
0.16 this big farmer dude. The dude who&;s
0.16 over, you know, the Russian dude. Yeah.
0.16 And like now I thought he was German. Is
0.16 he Russian? Russian or German? I I don&;t
0.16 know how to distinguish white accents.
0.16 Um Yeah. Okay. I&;m just being honest. It
0.16 is what it is. Um and um he&;s
0.16 uh he finds out he has like some sort of
0.16 cancer. like he has like very little
0.16 time to live. I saw the episode where he
0.16 was at the doctor&;s office. Yeah. Where
0.16 they&;re at now. Like he&;s like he&;s
0.16 trying to grow the mushroom cuz they&;re
0.16 all under the pressure that he&;s dead.
0.16 The um forget his name. You know what
0.16 I&;m saying? Uh they&;re all under the
0.16 pressure that he&;s dead. His name is
0.16 Marshall. Is it? Marshall. Yeah. Yeah.
0.16 They&;re all under pressure that
0.16 Marshall&;s dead. So he&;s like, I got to
0.16 figure out how to recreate this mushroom
0.16 myself. So, he has like a bunch of
0.16 random people working on it and he&;s
0.16 just eating all types of dried ass
0.16 mushrooms and it&;s not working. He looks
0.16 very sickly. And then he gets the call
0.16 like, "Yo, Marshall&;s alive." Yeah. But
0.16 then um at the end of the episode,
0.16 Shorty kills him. The old lady.
0.16 Old lady. The old mushroom lady.
0.16 She killed him. Yeah. She She finds his
0.16 farm. She starts cooking up with the the
0.16 hill. I remember she She starts cooking
0.16 up with the hillbilly neighbors. Yeah.
0.16 Yeah. And then um I remember she ran her
0.16 own [ __ ] and she was like Yeah. Yeah.
0.16 And then the the shorty who was doing
0.16 the um the
0.16 micologist who was um Yeah. Cuz she went
0.16 missing. Yeah. The mistracted. Yeah. She
0.16 she&;s her one of her students. She gets
0.16 she she helps Marshall fake his death,
0.16 get out. Yeah. And you know, she takes
0.16 him um back to the camp and he&;s like,
0.16 "Yo, what the [ __ ] y&;all got going on
0.16 over here?" And she&;s like, "Yo, we&;re
0.16 trying to cook this [ __ ] bro. like we
0.16 know we could cook it here, we just
0.16 don&;t know how. Yeah. He&;s like like
0.16 he&;s like like doesn&;t trust it, but
0.16 then he&;s like, "Fuck it." Like I guess.
0.16 And then he shows him how to do it. They
0.16 start cooking. They start making mad
0.16 mushrooms and people start coming from
0.16 all over to get healed. And he&;s like,
0.16 "Look, I&;m not healing paper cuts. Get
0.16 the [ __ ] out of here." But like, you
0.16 know, sick like very sickly. Right.
0.16 Yeah. Because the her thatal illness the
0.16 shorty her mom had like some sort of uh
0.16 mental like she was awful. No, she
0.16 wanted to climb a tree so she climbed a
0.16 tree and she fell. Yeah. I don&;t I don&;t
0.16 I think that had less to do with the the
0.16 side effect and more to do just a [ __ ]
0.16 want to climb a tree. Um yeah. So
0.16 they&;re doing that [ __ ] and then this
0.16 dude comes in. He&;s like tweaking. He
0.16 comes in to kill Marshall. Yeah. But
0.16 it&;s the dude that he saved from the car
0.16 accident.
0.16 Oh [ __ ] This is [ __ ] me up. Like,
0.16 what the [ __ ] did you give me? Oh, so
0.16 the side effects are worse than we
0.16 thought. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And side
0.16 effects are becoming worse because he&;s
0.16 had the mushroom like four times
0.16 already. Well, he&;s had it more than
0.16 four. [ __ ] almost died like 50 times.
0.16 Seeing this [ __ ] all the time now. He
0.16 goes, so he&;s like, "Yo, let&;s pump the
0.16 brakes on this cuz I don&;t know like
0.16 real test because we don&;t know. I don&;t
0.16 know the side effects, right?" And she&;s
0.16 like and they she&;s like trying to make
0.16 um she&;s trying to make uh tonics and
0.16 [ __ ] like with the mushroom. Yeah. Like
0.16 she&;s like she&;s trying to like widely
0.16 disperse this [ __ ] Get some cash. She
0.16 got the the dude selling it as solution
0.16 on the side while she&;s trying to cook
0.16 up a tonic to, you know, sell to the
0.16 masses. Oh, so any drug or any thing
0.16 that could magically heal you instantly
0.16 should probably be Yeah. they like, you
0.16 know, explored for Mar to be as you know
0.16 um the way he No, cuz initially when the
0.16 show first started he was like yo we
0.16 need to get this to everybody but now
0.16 you&;re saying he&;s like wait maybe we
0.16 should because now he&;s like yo but
0.16 let&;s look at the side effects but you
0.16 know he they make him seem so rational.
0.16 It&;s like why didn&;t you think about
0.16 this before begin with but you know I
0.16 can see like with all the amazement of
0.16 watching somebody come back from the
0.16 dead Yeah. You might just be like, "Yo,
0.16 everyone needs it." Right. So, yeah. And
0.16 you And I like I like the part where the
0.16 big farmer dude explains to the dumb
0.16 farmer dude like, "Yo, this is like you
0.16 can&;t give this to the masses." Yeah. He
0.16 was like, "Bro, are you crazy? Like,
0.16 this will happen, that will happen, this
0.16 will happen." Like, then think about
0.16 like that. He&;s like, "Yo, if you can
0.16 heal anything, what like what are we
0.16 looking at in terms of war?" Right. You
0.16 know what I mean? Yeah. Like you they&;re
0.16 just going to find more deadly ways to
0.16 to kill people. Mhm. You know what I
0.16 mean? I didn&;t even think about it from
0.16 that angle, but Yeah. And I was like,
0.16 "Fair enough." Yeah. And then
0.16 everybody&;s got a [ __ ] sensu bean.
0.16 Yeah. But and then the biggest the
0.16 biggest part of it was like, you know,
0.16 how do you control giving it to the
0.16 masses, right? Cuz you know, supply and
0.16 demand is real regardless of, you know,
0.16 if you think you&;re if you think you&;re
0.16 going to give something out for free or
0.16 not. Like if you think if you think
0.16 you&;re giving out for free, the demand
0.16 is going to be crazy. I tell you right
0.16 now, if that [ __ ] was real, it&;d be
0.16 [ __ ] chaos, bro. It&;s real, bro.
0.16 Absolute chaos. It&;s real. Absolutely.
0.16 I&;m here for conspiracy. I&;m like,
0.16 there&;s a mushroom out there. I&;m sure
0.16 something crazy enough exists that they
0.16 don&;t bring it to the
0.16 public. Like, there are people dead just
0.16 like all them doctors died on that on
0.16 that plane. Oh, yeah. Yeah. First of
0.16 all, I believe I believe the studies of
0.16 stem cells and their effects, there&;s no
0.16 way they they couldn&;t come up with a
0.16 way to like regrow organs in your body.
0.16 True. That or fully heal organs. I I
0.16 think they figured this [ __ ] out, but
0.16 where&;s the money? Well, yeah. Big
0.16 farmer wouldn&;t exist. We without us
0.16 being sick. And Big Farmer is such a
0.16 rape. No. Yeah. Big farmer is such a
0.16 rape, bro. Like it&;s tied it&;s tied so
0.16 delicately delicately in everything like
0.16 into into um labor. Like how are you
0.16 tied into labor? Yeah. You know what I
0.16 mean? Like like it&;s not even up to a
0.16 individual to acquire their healthcare.
0.16 Like you&;re tied into their employment
0.16 and you know forces to do
0.16 but look look let me not just get into
0.16 it like I just know everything. I this
0.16 is just you know things Yeah. Yeah. You
0.16 know what I mean? This [ __ ] is I mean
0.16 especially in America. Oh yeah. You know
0.16 what I mean? Oh yeah. Absolutely. And I
0.16 don&;t I don&;t know. I really don&;t know
0.16 how healthcare works in a lot of other
0.16 countries. You know some other countries
0.16 say they you know healthcare is free but
0.16 like Canada is free. I&;m like it&;s it
0.16 has to be it&;s free but to a certain
0.16 extent. Yeah. Like I like you know most
0.16 likely you&;re not you&;re not coughing up
0.16 $30 for your um for your copay or some
0.16 [ __ ] like that. like you, you know, you
0.16 don&;t have to worry about that. But like
0.16 you&;re not getting surgeries for free,
0.16 right? But uh I just
0.16 don&;t Yeah, we might need to do more
0.16 research with that cuz I I don&;t know
0.16 the extent of what the healthcare looks
0.16 like. But you&;re right, they a lot of
0.16 people do say it&;s free. Yeah. But I
0.16 don&;t think it&;s completely free. Like
0.16 there&;s a catch. Yeah, there&;s always a
0.16 catch. There&;s always a gadget because
0.16 no matter how you look at it throughout
0.16 the world, big pharma big farmer is
0.16 bigger than any country. Like these are
0.16 like a a lot of these bigies
0.16 conglomerates are conglomerates that are
0.16 umbrella under an umbrella. You know
0.16 what I mean? Like this this one or two
0.16 at the top. Yeah. The rest are just
0.16 little like they&;re all connected. You
0.16 know what I mean? Mhm. So, you
0.16 know, there&;s there&;s something to it.
0.16 Oh, yeah. No, I I wholeheartedly I
0.16 really can&;t I mean I I don&;t know, so I
0.16 can&;t say. Should we do an entire like
0.16 twohour episode about big pharma? I
0.16 mean, I could I could do a little deep
0.16 dive and and really get into it, but you
0.16 know, let&;s do some big pharma
0.16 conspiracy. Yeah. I mean, it&;s not a
0.16 conspiracy. It&;s it&;s very real. No.
0.16 Yeah, it is. Raping us.
0.16 Uh, I was going to talk about naked. Did
0.16 you um
0.16 like big farmer um Medicaid? Yeah, they
0.16 um they have like a new
0.16 um like uh uh certification form where
0.16 you have to give them your bank account
0.16 number. You have to give them your
0.16 account number. You have to give them
0.16 the amount of money you have in your
0.16 account. You got to uh like if you have
0.16 any like trust funds or [ __ ] like that,
0.16 you have to give them that information.
0.16 Uh you have to let them know if you have
0.16 any money put up for um like your like
0.16 uh your postmart
0.16 ceremonies, your burial and stuff like
0.16 that. Like they want all your
0.16 information. Oh, so they&;re they&;re
0.16 tackling you heard anything about
0.16 medicating? I did not. But it seems to
0.16 me they&;re tackling the people who are
0.16 like, you know, Yeah, there wasn&;t I
0.16 mean after co there was like an influx
0.16 of people who had Medicaid but were
0.16 making like
0.16 good money. So I think that&;s probably
0.16 why they&;re doing that. I think that&;s
0.16 to tackle that. Yeah. But I feel like
0.16 it&;s super invasive. Oh yeah. Yeah.
0.16 Absolutely. I feel like it&;s super super
0.16 invasive. But you also have [ __ ] who
0.16 take advantage of the system. So now
0.16 this is what we have to do, right? You
0.16 have one bad apple that spoils the
0.16 bunch. And that&;s usually the case.
0.16 Everything that happens, somebody did
0.16 that [ __ ] That&;s why they got like
0.16 Yeah. But there&;s also the fact that
0.16 Donald Trump has has told us
0.16 verbatim
0.16 that him and people in league with him
0.16 and in league with most people in the
0.16 government, people who have money
0.16 commit fraud consistently. Oh yeah, we
0.16 all have money. We all commit fraud.
0.16 It&;s okay. I promise you no one&;s
0.16 getting hurt.
0.16 So, like what what are we doing there?
0.16 Like, you know what I&;m saying? Nothing.
0.16 Investigate. Like, you know, tell some
0.16 tell somebody like like them like, "Oh,
0.16 I want to investigate where you have all
0.16 your funds at." You&;re you&;re getting
0.16 you&;re getting drowned in litigation.
0.16 What&;s your last name? Rosenberg. Oh,
0.16 sorry. Like, oh, yeah. Yeah. My mistake.
0.16 You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I just
0.16 think that&;s weird. Who run the world?
0.16 you want to harass these poor people,
0.16 you know what I mean? Like, god forbid I
0.16 had a little bit of money put up for
0.16 like, you know, right? Like, well, that
0.16 looks a little suspicious there, [ __ ]
0.16 I&;m sorry I need health insurance and
0.16 I&;m sorry I made a little money though.
0.16 [ __ ] like, my bad,
0.16 bro. Yeah, it&;s insane. It really is
0.16 insane.
0.16 You know, you got people like me who pay
0.16 for health insurance. I don&;t remember
0.16 the last time I went to the doctor. You
0.16 probably should go to the doctor. I
0.16 mean, we&;re we&;re we&;re old enough. Not
0.16 even alive. We&;re old enough at this
0.16 point where we should start regularly
0.16 going to I&;ve been to the doctor
0.16 recently. How recent? We talking two
0.16 years ago. That&;s not recent. Nah, you
0.16 need every year. You need to go up.
0.16 We&;re 3 months in. I&;m chilling. About
0.16 to be Well, actually, we&;re basically
0.16 four months in. Yeah. Last time I went
0.16 to the doctor, he said, "Bro, you&;re
0.16 dead." And I&;m like, "Chill." He&;s like,
0.16 "You need to chill." I was like, "All
0.16 right, relax. There&;s no reason you
0.16 should be alive. Yeah. Yeah.
0.16 This is news to me, Doc.
0.16 But yeah, uh we make a lot of
0.16 [Applause]
0.16 um half-
0.16 winded promises.
0.16 Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We&;re
0.16 gonna do better. Henry sucks. I&;m no
0.16 better. Wow. N. But we&;re going to cook.
0.16 We got to have to I was going to talk
0.16 about this show, but I&;m going to save
0.16 it for for next episode. Make it
0.16 attraction. I could I started watching
0.16 it. It&;s on HBO, but I&;m only watching
0.16 it for the vaginas. But it&;s definitely
0.16 an interesting show.
0.16 Like what they do is they have one
0.16 contestant who has to pick from I don&;t
0.16 know how many people. It&;s usually like
0.16 maybe I guess like six to eight people.
0.16 And they they have them naked. The
0.16 contestant isn&;t naked, but the people
0.16 are naked. Why? Uh I I don&;t know if
0.16 it&;s to like uh I guess get the the
0.16 taboo [ __ ] out the way like or maybe
0.16 it&;s just like a way to see like cuz
0.16 it&;s very shallow. I mean, you&;re
0.16 judging this person based off of their
0.16 naked body. So what it does is uh all
0.16 the people will be covered right by this
0.16 like thing and it&;ll cover them down to
0.16 like maybe like their knees. So all you
0.16 can see is their feet. So obviously you
0.16 can see you know their skin complexion.
0.16 That&;s probably the only thing you can
0.16 tell. And then the host will like talk
0.16 and if they have terrible toes, right?
0.16 The host will talk to the contestant
0.16 whether it&;s a male, female, doesn&;t
0.16 matter. Uh that matters. Well, I mean it
0.16 matters on what you&;re going to see.
0.16 whether you&;re going to see a bunch of
0.16 penises or you going to see a bunch of
0.16 vaginas. Yeah, that matters. You&;re
0.16 right. It does matter. So, um they talk
0.16 to them, they ask them, you know, like,
0.16 "What do you like in a person?" That
0.16 kind of gay [ __ ] And then they&;re like,
0.16 "All right, we&;re going to do the first
0.16 round." So, then they lift the the
0.16 barrier up to like their waist. So, now
0.16 you see a whole bunch of penises. And we
0.16 talking flaccid penises. So I&;m like,
0.16 "Y&;all [ __ ] are brave as [ __ ] because
0.16 ain&;t no way. Ain&;t no way I&;m going on
0.16 national TV soft, [ __ ] Soft. No way.
0.16 No way. I got to have I got to have at
0.16 least a chub. No way. I&;m going on
0.16 national soft, bro. Soft. Straight
0.16 soft." And so uh then it goes up to
0.16 their waist, right? It stops there. So
0.16 then the the host will be like, "All
0.16 right, anybody here, you know, let&;s go
0.16 contestant by contestant." And they&;ll
0.16 look at their balls, look at their dick,
0.16 and they&;ll be like, "Okay, this is what
0.16 I liked. This is what I didn&;t like."
0.16 And then they&;ll like eliminate one
0.16 person or two people. And then the
0.16 person that they eliminate, they&;ll lift
0.16 the whole [ __ ] up completely, like this
0.16 is what you missed out on. And then
0.16 she&;ll be like, "Oh man, I didn&;t mean
0.16 to eliminate you. I just saw your dick
0.16 and it looked weird." But you actually
0.16 look like a handsome person. Sorry.
0.16 Next. And then it&;ll it&;ll and then
0.16 it&;ll go like this. The strangest show
0.16 ever. It is. And then it&;ll go like up
0.16 to like their neck. So you can&;t see
0.16 their face, but you can see like their
0.16 torso. Yeah. So you can see like if they
0.16 have a nice body or if they&;re fat or if
0.16 they&;re You know what I&;m saying? Yeah.
0.16 Then they&;ll eliminate based on that.
0.16 And then you know whoever it is they&;ll
0.16 So you standing here flaccid for like 30
0.16 minutes [ __ ] just judge dick out. Yeah.
0.16 Just I&;m like nah this is a wild show
0.16 and they do it the same way for men. If
0.16 the contestants are men the women just
0.16 sit there. So you get to see full bush.
0.16 Yeah. You see full bush or no bush but
0.16 you don&;t get to see what the titties
0.16 look like until you eliminate based off
0.16 of the badge. Yeah. So then you be like
0.16 you might have eliminated short. You got
0.16 something big ass to. You&;re like damn I
0.16 [ __ ] up.
0.16 So So you don&;t know like and I&;m like I
0.16 also don&;t know what the exact point of
0.16 the show is but I thought this is a wild
0.16 [ __ ] show. Like
0.16 it sounds pretty terrible. They only
0.16 show it on HBO Max.
0.16 I don&;t think I want to watch this show.
0.16 It&;s it&;s just interesting. I&;ll be
0.16 like,
0.16 "Yo, shorty cho looking kind of you just
0.16 that&;s an interesting looking anything
0.16 to see naked people." Yeah, it&;s just
0.16 interesting. A child. It&;s just
0.16 interesting. And maybe I&;m a nudist. I
0.16 think I need to go to like a nudist
0.16 colony and like see where I fit in, you
0.16 know? But my biggest fear is like going
0.16 to a nudist colony and like getting an
0.16 erection cuz now I&;ll be like, "Damn,
0.16 cuz none of y&;all are hard. Am I Am I
0.16 just like super horny or am I vulnerable
0.16 or in this moment? Like I just like like
0.16 I don&;t know what it is. Like what? Cuz
0.16 I feel like if I go I&;m going be bricked
0.16 up. I&;m be like, "Yo, y&;all don&;t see
0.16 all these titties everywhere, bro." Like
0.16 Yeah. And they&;re going to be like, "Why
0.16 are you hard?" I&;m like, "Why are you
0.16 not hard, [ __ ] The fuck?" Like the
0.16 [ __ ] I don&;t know. And but I feel like
0.16 people are going to judge me. Am I
0.16 vulnerable? Yeah. Cuz it&;s like normal
0.16 for them. Like this is just what they
0.16 do. You know what I mean? Like but me,
0.16 I&;m like I&;m new here. I&;m new here.
0.16 Sorry. I&;m I still get erections when I
0.16 say
0.16 nice beats. Nice beats. Nice beats.
0.16 I just can&;t be like And they&;re going
0.16 to be like, "You&;re weird." I&;m like,
0.16 "Nigga, you&;re weird. I like titties,
0.16 bro. I&;m sorry." Like, what the [ __ ]
0.16 Yeah, you&;re big [ __ ]
0.16 kid. walk around bricked up like I&;m
0.16 like, "Yo, he&;s making us all feel
0.16 uncomfortable." And I&;m like, "You know
0.16 what? Take away.
0.16 All of y&;all are making me feel
0.16 uncomfortable. You know what? This takes
0.16 me like 9 hours.
0.16 Do you know what I got to do to get rid
0.16 of this? I&;m the Master Bathon Champion,
0.16 man. Have you ever heard of me? Named
0.16 Sato.
0.16 S? Look me up.
0.16 I got a wiki
0.16 page. Yeah.
.